Teaser!

I AM SO EXCITED!!!!!!!

I don’t even know what is happening right now with my book. I believe it has just gone through a round of developmental editing. After I spoke with my book project manager at the beginning of the month he took the notes from our conversation and brought them to the editors to make sure that we were all on the same page. I love that they make it a priority to get the okay from me first before doing anything. Because right now it seems so out of my hands…I don’t even dare open up the final word document I submitted to them in May. I just know I will want to change things, and right now, I can’t. It is completely out of my hands. When Tyler and I spoke (that’s my manager) he wanted to know who my target audience was and what I wanted to tell them with my book. So, I thought I would give ya’ll some of the information I gave Tyler…and then at the end I’ll let you read the teaser I sent them last week!

·         My target audience is young adults, but I hope this story touches more than that. It is written from a young adult’s prospective (Molly) and by a young adult (that’s me!), so it makes sense that young adults would connect to this story the easiest. And yet I focus on issues that every age group struggles with, so if you’re a young mom or if you’re an old woman I hope you can still connect to this story. I know men will be reading this too, and that audience will be tougher for me to reach. They are somewhat foreign to me, so I apologize. J But because my message is so distinctly Christian I like to believe that God will reach every heart he wants to, regardless of age or gender.

·         I want people to see God in a new way when they read this. If they are non-Christians, I hope the message gets them thinking about God. I hope it gets them questioning, and I hope that questioning will lead them to seek answers from people who want to provide them. I hope people email me and ask me about Jesus…that would make my heart so happy. For Christians, I want them to struggle with Molly, who is herself a Christian and falls away. Bad things happen to Molly, and she tries to run away from them…she gets angry and questions God. I want my readers to connect with her, to remember times when they felt the same way and to realize that God is bigger than those bad things, and that it is okay to cry out to him and ask why. In the end, I just want all my readers to see what an awesome, wonderful, mighty, and extremely loving and forgiving God we serve.

·         A sub-goal of mine is to educate people about sexual abuse in dating relationships. Oftentimes when people think about rape, a scary man jumping out behind some pushes and attacking a poor, helpless woman comes to mind. We tend to think that rape is carried out by strangers, when in fact many more rapes are carried out by people the victim knows. Sneaky of me to try and educate people with a story, right? But it’s effective. I hope to entertain and educate. I will be talking to my editors later about possibly including more information about date rape in the back of the book, because young people need to be aware that this happens, and that it happens frequently. (Social worker coming out in me…always striving for prevention)

Earlier when I talked to Tyler he asked me how attached I was to my title, because they might need to change it. While I said I would be okay with it, I’m really not. But because they loved my teaser and I used the name Another Ending in it, I am hoping they leave the title alone. It ties into a line in the book, and it just fits so well with what happens to Molly. I’ll let you read it and decide:

“In one moment Molly Taylor’s world is flipped upside down, and life loses all meaning. When it becomes more than she can take, she runs—from her dark situation, from her family and friends, and from God himself. Fully convinced that God no longer cares for her, she searches for peace away from him, only to run into endings time after time. Another Ending is a story of hope and forgiveness; for while Molly searches for answers away from God, she realizes that only through him can we face darkness. Only through his grace do our endings turn into new beginnings.”

Yup. Took me an HOUR to write that short little teaser. It had to be 100 words or less, and that is beyond hard! Summing up an entire book in 100 words, and not giving away any major plot events, is incredibly hard. But I did it. Let me know what you think, and when I get more information on what the next steps will be I will post again.

Fighting for Joy

The first six weeks of school were a breeze for me. None of my teachers were piling on assignments, and I was adjusting pretty well to working during the school year. But lately it seems like everyone got together and decided to throw everything at me all at once. I have major projects and tests in every single one of my classes due in less than two weeks, and my work schedule has gotten more hectic as well. Instead of scheduling me for longer shifts on weekends or easy days, lately I have been working shorter shifts almost every single weeknight. So, my days basically consist of classes, studying and working on projects, going to work, studying and working on projects some more, and sleeping. If I’m lucky I will stop by Ben’s place for a while, but recently the only days we have guaranteed together is Sunday. This is frustrating for both of us, because this is the time when we are supposed to be planning our wedding and preparing for marriage. Unfortunately, that often gets pushed to the back burner while both of us try to juggle working and school. It’s a good thing we got so much wedding stuff done in September and early October, because it doesn’t seem to be slowing down here anytime soon. Midterms are just around the corner, and before we know it, it will be finals. Stress. Full. (It’s also Holiday Season at Wal-Mart…which I am NOT looking forward to!)

I have been letting all of this pile up on me and get me down. I get frustrated that my nights are occupied with working, but I know it’s where I need to be right now to make sure school is paid for. I get frustrated that certain teachers pile on project after project and expect that their class be the center of my entire life. And I get frustrated that some nights I am just too tired to drive across town to spend the evening with my fiancé. (Are you getting the sense that I’m frustrated??) Usually when I am feeling this way it quickly leaves. But right now, it’s not. I can tell because I don’t feel like myself. Most days I wake up and immediately think about all I need to get done. I overwhelm myself before the day even starts! And when I finally get done all I needed to, I sit and think about all I didn’t get to do because I was so busy doing everything else. Are there other things I really want to be doing right now? You bet. But I will always, always push those things aside to get done what needs to get done. It’s in my blood. But that doesn’t mean I’m happy about it! And people are noticing. It makes me sad that when I call my mom on the phone she always thinks I’m upset about something. Even when my day is going pretty well, she can still pick up that sense of frustration. And unfortunately for Ben, I take out aggression on him. I absolutely hate that. And yet, when I say snappy things to him or spend an entire evening unloading my frustrations onto him, I can always count on an “I love you more than anything in the world” text from him before I go to bed. I know I don’t deserve that.

I also know I don’t deserve how God consistently takes care of every single detail in my life. After I’ve stressed myself out and ruined an entire week before it even really gets started, God steps in. Yay God! This week I was scheduled to take four tests: Statistics, British Literature, Human Behavior in the Social Environment, and Domestic Violence. Yuck. I already took my statistics test, but the other tests have been hanging over my head for the past week. Working makes studying harder to squeeze in, and we’re also throwing in a trip to Yankton on Thursday to begin marriage counseling and to take engagement pictures if the weather cooperates. (Which looks highly unlikely!) I had no idea when I was going to make time for all this. Well, that’s where God stepped in. My British Literature mid-term got postponed! It’s a small blessing that completely changes my entire week, because now I can focus on the one test that needs the most attention and worry about the British Literature midterm later. Funny how one small thing changes everything. I am much more confident in my ability to get everything done that needs to get done. And to top it all off, I was asked to transfer to the jewelry department in Wal-Mart, which seems like a dream come true after getting hardcore chewed out by a customer last week. Being at the checkouts is very hard because people take out their anger on me a lot. Being away from all the craziness would be wonderful, and I know my stress level would go down quite a bit if I actually do transfer.

But even though God blessed me in these small ways and changed my attitude about this week, I know the coming weeks and months will bring more of the same frustration. I am glad I can recognize my bad attitude now so that I can work on it and stop dragging myself around. I don’t like living like that! I don’t want to do it anymore. So, I want to make the conscience effort to fight for joy. Sounds kind of contradictory, right? We shouldn’t have to fight for joy…should we? I think so.

You can’t always experience that spontaneous joy that we love so much. Some days you just wake up feeling sad. You can maybe throw yourself out of bed, but we all know that you can’t always force yourself to be joyful. Some people seem to have been born with a joyful attitude, and we look at them and cringe a little. (Anyone else get a teensy bit bothered by those perpetually happy people? How in the world are they happy every single day???) We start to think that something is wrong with us. If they experience joy every single day, why aren’t we? I want joy every day. So I will fight for it. Here’s an excerpt from John Piper’s book “When I don’t Desire God- How to Fight for Joy.” This book has put fighting for joy in perspective for me—

           

            “We are like farmers. They plow the field and plant the seed and cut away weeds and scare away crows, but they do not make the crops grow. God does. He sends the rain and sunshine and brings to maturity the hidden life of the seed. We have our part. But it is not coercive or controlling. And there will be times when the crops fail. Even then God has his ways of feeding the farmer and bringing him through a lean season…In obedience to God’s word we should fight to walk in the paths where he promised his blessings. But when and how they come is God’s to decide, not ours. If they delay, we trust the wisdom of our Father’s timing, and we wait. In this way joy remains a gift, while we wait patiently in the field of obedience and fight against the weeds and the crows and the rodents. Here is where joy will come. Here is where Christ will reveal himself (John 14:21). But that revelation and that joy will come when and how Christ chooses. It will be a gift.”

I don’t feel joyful every day. Certainly not this week. But I love when God steps in like he just did for me to remind me that even in times of difficulty, he is there. God’s timing is perfect, so I will continue walking by his side and fighting those weeds and crows and rodents every day, because in the end I know that gift will be worth it. When school and a wedding are all taken care of and paid for, I can take a step back, wipe the sweat from my brow, and thank the Lord above that he never left me and that he blessed me more than I know what to do with. I am so thankful I have a God who works for me when I fail in so many ways. For even when I work my hardest, I can accomplish nothing. God accomplishes it all, and that, my friends, is a huge reason to be joyful.

  

The Sweet Significance of Smarties

Some moments are so significant in our lives that they will never disappear from our brains no matter how much time passes. Sometimes we don’t know that certain moments will change our lives forever, but when we look back and realize just how important those moments were to shaping the rest of our lives, we cherish them and hold them closely to our hearts. I am now realizing just how important one night was to my life, and I thought you all might want to hear about it. One night changed my entire life forever, and here’s the story:

October 12^th, 2008 was a cloudy, cool Sunday. It was the type of day I just adore; the clouds hung low in the sky and it was raining on and off.  I was fifteen at the time and in love with a boy that I wasn’t sure even liked me as more than just a friend. (Ben, in case any of you were confused!) Our relationship confused me; we were like best friends, and everyone asked if we were dating. Of course, I wished we were, but someone seemed to be oblivious to the fact that I thought the world of him. (Ben again, in case any of you can’t follow me.) Everyone else on the planet knew I wished we were more than friends, except for the one person I wanted to know. (You guessed it…Ben again!) But, I was and still am old fashioned. I wanted him to pursue me. Way back when MSN was the popular form of online chatting, I would anxiously log on at night just to see if he was online, and if he was I suppressed my extreme desire to strike up a conversation with him. Didn’t want to come off super eager, folks. He still didn’t know I liked him and I wanted to keep it that way, at least until he told me he liked me first. He needed to make the first move, and if he wouldn’t have done that I wouldn’t have even considered dating him. Luckily for me, that all changed on October 12^th.

Even though it was rainy and chilly that day, I made plans to spend time with Ben’s little sister Samantha. Samantha and I have always been close and at this time I was helping her sort through some issues. Mainly I just listened to her talk, which is what we all need at times. So on that chilly day we were sitting out at Gavins Point beach in Yankton, just hanging out and removing ourselves from the stresses back at home. I don’t remember how long we sat out at the beach, but when we were getting ready to go she mentioned that she had something for me from Ben. I remember my heart doing a weird little lurch inside me as she gave me an envelope with my name on it. I think I opened it up right then and there and let her read it to. And guess what people! I still have that letter. It is ripped, fragile, and falling apart, but it is an important piece of our history and I plan to keep it for as long as I can. All it says is that he wanted to meet with me after he got off work at 8:00 that night to “talk to you about something.” Of course when I read that to my parents and sisters that night they all raised their eyebrows and guessed that he was going to ask me out, which of course caused me to blush( I blush super easily!) and disagree. I was positive that he still only thought of me as a friend and told them he probably just wanted to talk about something that was bugging him, since we were best friends and talked about everything.

To my pleasant surprise, this visit was more than just a friendly chat. The funniest thing about this whole ordeal is that I had to have my mom drop me off at HyVee, which is where the conversation took place. I was only fifteen the night my entire life would change! Too young to even drive myself to the conversation that would change everything. That was one of the weirdest drives of my entire life. But when I walked into HyVee and saw Ben in his cute little work uniform-khaki pants, white button up shirt, and a bright red tie- I got really excited. Because I immediately knew this was more than just a talk from how he was sitting. He was praying-leaning forward, eyes closed, probably nervous out of his mind. Sitting on the table was two bottles of Mello Yellow and a bunch of Smarties candies. (HyVee hands them out to kids, but Ben stole so many of those when he worked there!) I awkwardly sit down and he looks up and smiles, but I can tell he is super nervous. We make small talk for a while, but he had just spent his entire six hour shift rehearsing what he wanted to say to me so we didn’t waste too much time just chatting. I am so mad that I can’t recall the exact conversation, (you’d think as a writer I would remember something so important!) but it went something like this:

            *awkward silence after awkward small talk ends*

Ben: So um, I have something to tell you. (nervously playing with Smarties wrappers)

            Sara: Okay. (gets super excited)

Ben: Well. I think I might like you…as more than a friend…and I was wondering…if you felt the same way too? (extreme crackling of Smarties wrappers)

Sara: Yeah. I do.

Ben: Oh. Okay. Well…cool.

I am literally laughing out loud as I recall this, because no one will ever understand how incredibly awkward this night was for both of us. We were already so close, but we avoided the fact that our relationship had quickly turned into more than just friendship. We ignored it, but continued getting closer and closer. We even talked on the phone a few times! Still, that night was weird. It was the first time anyone had told me he liked me, and it was the first time Ben had told anyone that. We were newbies and didn’t know what to do with this new information. All I know is that after he told me he finally relaxed, and we sat there chatting for quite a bit before I knew I had to get home and report to everyone that they were right. Although I would argue with them that he hadn’t really asked me out; he’d just told me he liked me. He knew I wasn’t allowed to date until I was sixteen, and at the time I still had six more months until I was sixteen. But Ben is detail oriented, and he calculated how many days between October 12 and April 24, my birthday, and told me he would wait. That is what I will always remember about that night. He wanted to wait for me. Isn’t that every girl’s dream?

Along with that, I will always remember the walk back to his rusty little Toyota pickup so he could take me home. He was so happy that he started running and jumping and making these absurd little shouts of joy. Then he turned around, now running backwards, and grinned that silly grin that still makes me laugh even now, four years later.

And my life has never been the same. I wouldn’t know it until years later, because even though we were best friends, I knew high school relationships didn’t often last. But as a year passed, I think we both knew it would. Two more came and went, and a beautiful engagement ring sealed the deal. So as we approach the anniversary of the night he told me he liked me, I view it differently now. It wasn’t just the first time a boy told me he liked me. It was the beginning of my marriage, of the rest of my entire life. That is pretty significant, folks. And you can bet we will be celebrating by cracking open some Mello Yellows, enjoying some Smarties, and laughing at the awkward, sweet, and life changing conversation that started us on this crazy adventure.

I just love October, don’t you? 

Just a Taste

Now that copy-editing is nearing completion, my level of excitement is skyrocketing. Because after developmental editing is done, my book will be ready to hit the shelves. Almost. After developmental editing I get to make all the fun decisions, like how the cover design will look and what I want written on the back. But after all that, it will be ready! I was telling Ben the other day that the one thing I am most excited about is actually being able to talk with people about the book instead of just telling them about it. After people have read it, I can have conversations with people, I can talk to my readers about how they related to the characters and if the message affected them in any way, and how they were affected.

My editors are working very hard to make sure that I will be able to have conversations like that. During developmental editing, my editors will be polishing my work so that the message is strong and clear. I know this already because the first response on the questionnaire I have to fill out before developmental editing even begins is this: Describe the main message/intention of your book in ten words or less. Ten words! For a writer, this is not an easy thing. I could write pages and pages about the message and intention! If you’ve been reading my blog religiously, you know how wordy I can be! I haven’t responded to this questionnaire yet, but believe me, I’ve been thinking about this response every spare minute I have. The message is the core of my work; if it is weak I lose the power to reach hearts and stir up emotion. So I want it to be as strong and as clear as it can be, so that is what I hope will happen after developmental editing. Any changes I make to the work will be so that the message is stronger and more influential.

I want to give you all a bit of a sneak peak of my book. One of my main goals, one of my deepest desires, is for people to be able to connect on a personal level with the characters. I want the emotions of the characters to be real, tangible emotions. I want people to read my book and say, “I relate to that. I’ve felt that before.” So when you read this book, you will see that a majority of the work is divided into two sections: dialogue and inner thoughts. The story is told from first person perspective, so you get a direct look into Molly’s thoughts…all her desires, fears, and every single emotion in between. I wrote it in a way that is similar to the way that we all function. For example, when we worry about things, we don’t just worry about them once, work through them, and then stop worrying about them. We keep worrying about things. We might work on those worries, yes, but oftentimes those worries keep us up at night and cause us to lose sleep. So it might seem that I write about a specific emotion over and over again, but that is because as humans, we hang onto things. Events impact us for more than just one occasion. The impact is lasting. I revisit the same worries, fears, and other emotions over and over again because as humans, we do that. We revisit things even though we may have worked through them already.
So…here ya go! A small glimpse of what I’m talking about.

“It was dark. I hated driving in the dark; not being able to clearly see what lay ahead. I was limited to how far my headlights shone onto the road. That’s how my life was like right now, though. It was dark. I couldn’t see what was ahead of me because I had no plan anymore. I was just blindly wandering down a path to who knows where. Anywhere but here, though.
The weight of the past few months was crushing down on me. My shoulders felt like a gigantic boulder was strapped to them. Being in the car didn’t help either; the small space was closing in on me, suffocating me. For the first full hour of the drive I sobbed uncontrollably; loud, heaving, gut-wrenching sobs from the deepest part of my heart. I hadn’t allowed myself to cry like this before because I was always afraid someone would hear me and ask me what was wrong, and I knew I’d never be able to tell them the real reason why I was so broken and empty.”

Sorry for the randomness of this little sample, but it took me forever to find a piece that didn’t give away too many details! I really wanted to give you guys a little sneak, and to show you how real Molly is to me, and how her emotions have affected me. I don’t think anyone who doesn’t write or love to read can understand just how easy it is to become a character. I didn’t just live in Molly’s world. I was Molly. I became her so that I could experience her feeling and write about them in a real way. You people have no idea how long I walked around as Molly! It was ridiculous. And then I started writing the second book, so it hasn’t really ended. She’s still a part of me, and I still walk around in her world. That’s the great thing about writing and reading though. Being able to step into a completely new world is absolutely exhilarating, and I can’t wait for you all to step into Molly’s world with me!

God Speaks

Today was one of those awesome days where God spoke right to me. Life is crazy for me right now. And a tad stressful. Probably the most stressful thing for me right now is the lack of control I have over my money. Last year I had more outside scholarship money and didn’t need to have an off campus job, but this year is different. And even though I am working and earning a paycheck, it seems to disappear right away; right back into the school. So instead of just trusting that God will take care of me, I worry. Even though I know that every month my school will be paid for, it still stresses me out. 

The thing that annoys me most about this whole money deal is how it affects my willingness to give. Tithing has always been a priority for me, and usually I write a check every two weeks without giving it a second thought. Lately, there have been many second thoughts. Every check that I get now, I immediately subtract how much my tithe should be and cringe. I hate that. It says right in 2 Corinthians 9:7 that “Each of you should give what you have decided in your heart to give, not reluctantly or under compulsion, for God loves a cheerful giver.” I can pick out three key points in the verse where I fall short…so, so short. I am reluctant to give. I feel like I have to. And I’m not doing it cheerfully. Again…I HATE THAT. Skipping a tithe or cutting it short is worse, because it tells me that I am not trusting God. 

A few weeks ago Ben and I went to Central Baptist Church in Sioux Falls, where they are currently doing a sermon series on handling money. The pastor said something that really struck me. We are managers of money. It’s not ours, it’s God’s. The reason he blesses us and entrusts us with money is so that we will use it in a way that brings him glory and to advance his kingdom. How can I do that with my heart in this shape? I know I am being a horrible manager right now! Whatever amount of money God sees fit to bless me with is what I have to manage, no matter if I feel it isn’t enough. It is enough. And I want to do a better job at managing it, which means giving because I want to. It means giving because it brings me joy to see the church advance the kingdom of God. It even means giving cheerfully…gasp! Is that possible right now??

Throughout these last few months I have been relying on myself much more than I should be. I keep telling myself that if I just work more hours and only spend money on what is absolutely necessary, everything will be fine. Those are all good things to be doing, but the problem with that mindset is that I am a human. I am weak. I can’t work as many hours as I want because I have school. And life is messy, things come up unexpectedly and I never know what I might encounter on a month to month basis. My deepest prayer right now is that instead of relying on myself or turning to my parents or Ben to supply my needs, I first turn to Jesus. I know he gives me resources such as my parents and Ben to help me out, but again, they are human and to turn to them first and rely on them more than God is not what I need to be doing. I want to rely on God. I need to rely on God. 

Here comes the good part. As this was all weighing on my heart yesterday, God stepped in and said, “Whoa, hold on, my child. I got this, okay? Don’t you remember how I have always taken care of you? Why are you doubting?” On the way to church this morning, the David Crowder Band song “Let Me Feel Your Shine” came on, and it almost brought tears to my eyes. It explains the state of my heart dead on, so I am sharing the lyrics with you, with a few parts taken out:

This place is trying to break my belief

But my faith is bigger than all I can see

What I need is redemption

What I need is for You for to put me back on my feet

I swear I'm trying to give everything

But I feel I'm falling, oh make me believe

What I need is resurrection

What I need is for You to put me back on my feet

If I could feel You shine Your perpetual light

Then maybe I could crawl out of this tonight

If I could feel You feel You shine

Oh let me feel You shine

So beautiful and warm

So beautiful and bright

Like a sun comin' out of a rainy sky

Oh let me feel You shine Oh,

Let me feel You shine

I lift the knife to the thing I love most

Praying You'll come so I can have both

What I need is for You to touch me

What I need is for You to be the thing that I need

This world does such a good job breaking my belief. How easy it is for me to take my eyes off of Jesus and begin seeking out other ways to supply my needs. While I will continue to do all I can to meet those needs, I want more than anything to trust that when I can’t do it, God can. And he will. He always has, and he always will. 

God knew I needed more reminders of his power this morning. The Sunday school lesson today was on faith. We talked about how faith means holding Christ supremely valuable, that he is an all satisfying treasure. It means we are satisfied with all that he promises to be to us in him. It is a full assurance that God will do what he promised. Full assurance. I don’t see room for doubt in faith at all! In the end, what we hope for in a happy future is what we worship…and what we worship is what we serve. I don’t want to worship or serve money. I want to worship and serve Christ. Last but not least, faith is measured by the amount of joy we have in God. Since I’m being so honest, I’ll keep going. My joy in Christ is low right now. And that’s simply because I don’t make time to open his word and fall on my knees, to cry out to him and lay all my burdens on him. I have to keep beating myself with scriptures like Matthew 11:28-30 that says “Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your soul. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.” Sounds a heck of a lot better than what I’ve been doing lately. 

The biggest thing I have learned in the last month is that the only thing I need has already been given to me. I need a savior. I need redemption. Since I already have assurance of those things, why I am wasting my time tearing down my faith instead of drawing closer to God and strengthening it? 

So thankful I have a big God who uses these kinds of situations for good. This isn’t ideal. But as a Christian I’ve made the choice to put myself completely into God’s hands, trusting that he will lead me to wherever it is I need to go. Anything I encounter along the way is tiny compared to my God anyway, so what good is fear? 

Time to say goodbye to fear. Prayers appreciated.

What September holds for me: Copy-editing!

For the last three months, I’ve been doing a whole lot of working, and not much else. So not too many interesting blog posts…until now! In a little over a week, my book Another Ending will finally go into production. For someone who has dreamed of seeing my name on the front of a book, of opening it up and seeing words that came straight from my heart, this is so totally overwhelming and completely, mind blowing-ly exciting! Somewhere deep in my heart I always dreamed this would happen, but honestly, I was skeptical that it ever would. I’m my hardest critic; it doesn’t matter how many people tell me my writing is good enough to be published, it is still hard for me to grasp… especially because the story is so personal for me, because I am passionate about the issues in my book. I won’t give away too many details, but I think I’ve written before that there are some dark issues in my book, issues facing young adults, but mostly young adult women. Just a gentle reminder…if this book had a rating, it would definitely be PG13. There are graphic scenes, not too terrible but enough to shock someone too young to know that there are people out there that want to hurt them. Please be aware of that if you are sensitive to things like rape, abortion, and sexual sin. This isn’t a book for kids; it is definitely geared to young adults and adults. Be smart about letting your kids read it, and if you have questions, feel free to ask me and I’ll give you a better taste of what to expect.

With my book just about to go into production, I’ve had those issues swirling around in my head. So it is so cool that I’ve been feeling stirrings recently, little nudges telling me to pursue a career helping battered women and children. I’ve always had a heart for teenage mothers and protecting the life of the unborn, so this is right up my alley. I think working directly with women who’ve faced tough circumstances would be so rewarding. Seeing them fight for a better life for themselves and for their children would bring me so much joy. I know they would probably help me way more than I help them. Battered women with a will to survive and a drive to succeed are inspiring. So that is my short update about my education and career plans…on to the details of the first step in the production process!

There are two layers of editing: copyediting and developmental editing. The first step is copyediting, which will start for me in September. During this time my manuscript will undergo a thorough examination of grammar, punctuation, spelling, and general formatting by a highly skilled Copy Editor. They will read through the manuscript from start to finish and clean up all the small issues that may have been overlooked before submission. Because no matter how amazing spell check is…it misses a ton! Copyediting simply ensures that the text is clean, polished, and in good order before Developmental editing begins.

This will be the most laid back month of production for me, which is a huge blessing because I move into school on the 31^st of August and start school on the 5^th of September. I’m also going to be working this year at Wal-Mart a few evenings a week, as well as 6 hours of work study. Combine that with classes and an hour of mentoring a child at a local elementary school, my plate is not only filled, it is overflowing! I don’t have to do any work on my book in September, so I will have a few weeks to adjust to school and work before the real work begins on my book. One copyediting is complete, I will be assigned a Senior Editor for the second month of production. I will update you all on the developmental editing process closer to when it will actually be done. One step at a time, people. J

What you can do for me:

·         Please pray for me! I have a major transition happening next week: I am moving out of my house for the final time. In the spring Ben and I will begin looking for an apartment in Sioux Falls that we will move into after we get married on June 8^th, 2013. (How sneaky of me…talking about my wedding. It’s my favorite thing to talk about right now!) While this is exciting, it is also very hard. I am a sap. I love being home…I’ve always been a homebody. It will be tough leaving my house for a final time and returning only as a visitor. I know my parents say that their kids are never guests, but that’s what it feels like for me. I will no longer be a permanent resident of the Watt house, so that is a little emotionally overwhelming for me.

·         It is a little weird that once school starts, I will actually have more free time. I have been working so much this summer, so once school starts I will work less and actually have some free time. But it is always a little rough falling into the swing of things, so please pray that I’d be able to adjust quickly and manage my time well. Once this first month of copyediting is over, I will actually have deadlines and will need to have things submitted to my publisher by a specific date. I will also be in the midst of planning my wedding, working on marriage counseling stuff, and welcoming my sweet niece into the world in January. Like I said…my plate is overflowing! I so appreciate your prayers that I would stay sane and able to keep on top of all this wonderful stuff that is happening to me.

·         And finally…let me know if there is a book store you want the book stocked at. Right now I am trying to get together a list of places and I need to start collecting email addresses so when the time comes I can send emails to all these people about stocking my book or hosting a book signing. Facebook me or send me an email at runner_watt@hotmail.com if you have a place in mind. And always be praying for my readers. If I can touch just one heart for Christ I will be satisfied in all this effort. One soul is worth it.

In the midst of this craziness, I keep repeating this to myself:

1 Corinthians 10:31
So whether you eat or drink or whatever you do, do it all for the glory of God.

It's all for Him. All this work is worth it if I reach one soul. One soul is more than worth it. Much more.

One final tidbit: rough draft of book two is done! I go back and forth on my title for this one…my two favorites are An Open Window and The Long Way Home. Perhaps I will give you all a short blurb later and ask for suggestions. But I will not pursue publishing until I see how number one does first. If I can earn back my initial investment, which only happens if I see 1000 copies, than I will go for it. So please…buy my book when it comes out! Tell your friends, neighbors, and relatives to buy it. I say this not only because I want to earn my investment back, but because I truly feel like this is my mission field. If you want to reach someone for Christ but are unsure how to do it, you can give them a copy of my book. Read through it first, and then talk to them about it when they finish it. Challenge them about the deep issues in this book. When you read it, you’ll understand how simple it would be to bring up a discussion about Christ.

One final, final tidbit: there is a third book! Research for book three is in the very early stages. The main character from book three is a minor character in book two. Yes, it is a three part series. Book one, two, and three all feature the same characters, though book three brings out a minor character that blossoms into the main character. This woman will be loosely based off of the Bible character Rahab, from the book of Joshua in the Old Testament. If you know anything about her, you’ll have a very basic idea of the type of character she will be. Go and read her story! Check out Joshua 2.

That is really all I have, friends. Thanks for reading!

Saving Money. Oh, and the Minds of our Kids, Too.

Being a middle child, I was a peacekeeper. And I’ve always been a people pleaser, wanting everyone to be happy even if it meant doing something I didn’t really want to do. This combination will be interesting when I enter into the world of motherhood…because I know I won’t be able to stop my kids from disagreeing and getting into ridiculous spats. And I also can’t give them everything they want or do everything they want just to make them happy. But this is not the message most kids are receiving these days, and it’s scaring me. The world my children will be born into is one that tells them “it’s all about you.” For the past month I’ve been babysitting an eight year old girl named Ellie, and in the short amount of time I’ve been with her my influence has been far reaching…and I didn’t even mean to influence her! We watch a decent amount of TV (because come on…how much crafting and slip and sliding can you do before it gets really old!) and it makes me want to ban TV from my kids’ lives. Because the message TV sends today is terrifying. And kids pick up on things.

Kids are very easily influenced. Like I said, Ellie picks up on things I do very quickly. First I must admit a problem I have. An addiction, really. It’s not as bad as it once was, but I have a thing for chewing ice. My family, Ben, and soon to be in-laws all know this and don’t think it’s weird anymore. Ellie, however, did think it was weird. She noticed immediately when I started chewing ice because no one in her family does it. When I came back the next day, she admitted to me that she and her mom now chew ice together every night and they can’t stop! This is a funny example, but it only took one day for me to influence her in this weird way. She also remembers everything I say and what I like and dislike. We were in Walmart the other day buying craft supplies, and we stopped and looked at some sun catchers. Originally we were going to buy them, but then we found some popsicle sticks and glitter, and who could resist that?? She ended up going back later that night with her mom to pick out more crafts for us to do (we do crafts a lot!) and she remembered exactly which ones I had liked and wanted to buy. We looked at sun catchers for maybe two minutes…and yet she remembered which ones I wanted. Maybe not a big deal, but still. She paid attention to that small detail and it stuck. Example number three: while leaving Walmart that day we picked out some candy bars to snack on. She had a Hershey bar, I had a Three Musketeer, which she’d never had before. I gave her a piece to try, and when I came back the next day she told me when she and her mom were shopping for sun catchers she bought a Three Musketeer because I had one the day before. She only wanted one because I had one. Again, maybe not a big deal. But it proved to me that kids really do look up to adults and want to be like them. And it makes me nervous to sit beside her and watch trashy TV shows full of kids she looks up to…kids that are filling her mind with junk and teaching her to accept negative stereotypes.

I know some of you might think this is crap. Kids aren’t really that influenced by TV, right? I believe otherwise, and much of this opinion has been strengthened by my month with Ellie. Without even meaning too I have given her opinions and influenced her in a lot of weird ways. TV shows absolutely do the same. Here are a few problems I have with many TV shows on today:

1. Many shows on Disney and Nickelodeon make being smart into a bad thing. If you like school and work hard to get good grades, you’re a nerd. Think back to these shows: Suite Life of Zac and Cody(Disney): Cody is a nerd for liking school, and Zac is the cool one as he skips class and never does his homework. Jessie(relatively new show on Disney): Luke hates school and makes fun of his brother Ravi for wanting to do well. Luke is the one the girls love, and no one notices Ravi. And many of you might remember Zoey 101, on Nickelodeon. Quinn is a girl who loves science, but everyone labels her “the weird girl.” It takes quite a few episodes before any of the other kids will accept her into their group. Only three examples, but I know there are more shows that label smart, hardworking kids as “nerds.” Reading is portrayed as boring and lame; watching TV or playing video games is cool and a much better use of time. And if you’re a girl who likes reading or wants to do well in school, that’s about the worse thing for your reputation. So what messages are we sending kids? Grades don’t matter…reading is lame…and girls aren’t supposed to want to be smart. This is why in the past girls have lagged behind in science and math. They have been told by society that they aren’t good enough for these fields. Math and science are for boys. Don’t believe me? Check out this article: http://www.thedailybeast.com/articles/2012/01/11/new-research-how-girls-can-win-in-math-and-science.html

2. Kids are being taught that people from other countries are weird. In many shows that bring in different nationalities, those people are weird, eccentric, and portrayed as not being as smart as Americans. For a country known as “the melting pot” this surprises me. And yet even today, we teach our kids that people from other parts of the world are different…but not in a good way. A few examples: On an episode of iCarly (Nickelodeon) Carly, Sam, and Freddie give out awards on their web show. Carly’s brother Spencer was supposed to make little Carly statues so Carly, Sam, and Freddie could give them away as trophies. Instead he made one giant statue, and didn’t have time to make 10 before the show started. He ends up recruiting some European swimsuit models to help him, and the show portrayed them as being stupid and clueless, tacking on weird accents and making them look ridiculous. They probably didn’t mean to make fun of Europeans…they were most likely trying to make fun of models. But why did they have to be European models? Another show, Shake it Up (Disney) does the same thing. Two of the characters are German, and they have thick accents. But they are portrayed as stupid and clueless. They dress very eccentrically and are always being made fun of for their outfits. Accents do weird things to us. I learned in my Communication class this past year that oftentimes when we come into contact with people who speak a different language we think they aren’t as smart as us. We raise our voices and start gesturing, which doesn’t help at all! It’s simply unfamiliar to us, but the confused looks on their faces from not understanding English makes us assume that they aren’t as smart as us. It’s kind of the same thing with accents. If someone speaks broken English, we again assume they aren’t as smart as we are. On these TV shows, accents make those people look stupid. We are teaching our kids that differences are scary, which they aren’t! They are beautiful, but that doesn’t make for funny television.
3. You only live once! (More popularly known as YOLO, which makes me want to bang my head against a wall) You’re only young once! Live it up now because one day you’ll grow up and all the fun stops. Young adulthood is glorified, but for all the wrong reasons! Young adulthood is a great time to figure out what you believe and set goals for yourself. But that’s uncool…why waste time being responsible and planning for the future when you could be out hooking up with as many people as you can and partying? You don’t see many shows encouraging kids to study hard, get a part time job, apply for scholarships, and be smart with money. Nope. Live it up. Buy all the fun toys. Enjoy not having a job because you’ll be working for the rest of your life. Kids aren’t being shown to work hard and save up money. They are taught to ask mommy and daddy for everything. But in the real world, mommy and daddy aren’t always able to hand you everything, as many college kids brutally discover. And when the bank account is all dried up, only then do some kids learn to budget, work, and save. But again…what show would teach kids those harsh lessons? I’ll pick on Jessie again. One girl, Emma, is all about clothes and fashion. All the time she talks about using her mother’s credit card. The kids watching it aren’t told how credit cards work…and who pays for it. It’s just a convenient way to get what you want. The other girl, Zuri, ruins a favorite doll and wants to get a new one…without working for it. When her nanny Jessie makes her set up a lemonade stand to earn some money, Zuri kicks and screams and hates every second. Hard work is portrayed as painful and not worth it. Are we teaching our kids to be lazy dependents?

4. And last but not least, TV shows often portray parents and adults as stupid. Anyone remember The Fairly Odd Parents on Nickelodeon? Timmy’s mom and dad were beyond stupid. In the new Disney Chanel movie “Radio Rebel” the principal is portrayed as evil and fun-sucking, only existing to ruin the fun and make student’s lives miserable. That’s the way many shows make teachers and principals look…they are either stupid or evil. If they try to calm down rowdy students or focus on education, they are the bad guy. Because having fun is more important, right? When the adults are dumb or the bad guys, it suddenly becomes okay to talk back or rebel against authority. Following rules becomes lame. Any present or future teachers, does this hit home for you? Or how about parents? Kids today aren’t being taught to respect authority because the authority is stupid and exists only to ruin their lives. How does respecting adults sound like a good thing when TV shows them otherwise?

A lot of people don’t believe that our culture has that much influence over us. But if it doesn’t, why do so many parents restrict what their kids watch? Is it just to shield them from foul language, or is it because they are afraid of the influence it might have on their thinking and behavior? We know the influence music has in our lives. Lyrics never leave. Once you know the lyrics, it can come back even years later. I firmly believe it’s the same with TV. The things we pick up from watching TV stick with us. And from what I’ve watched with Ellie in the past month, this makes me sick. I don’t want my kids exposed to the trash that fills the channels today. I don’t want them believing that education is lame. I don’t want them to want to play video games more than getting lost in a good book. I don’t want them to have negative stereotypes of people from other cultures. And I certainly don’t want them disrespecting adults.

So Ben and I have come to the conclusion that maybe getting cable isn’t on our to-do list. We won’t really be able to afford it in the early years of our marriage, but later on when we can afford it I’m not sure we will. I’d rather be visiting the library with my kids, teaching them to use their imagination and that learning is fun. I’d even rather snuggle down and pop in a good movie, because at least I know what I’m getting into before I let my kids watch it. Plus, it would be so much easier to talk about what we watched after a movie. You can’t really do that after a full day of mindless TV shows. To us, it’s not just saving money. It’s about saving the minds of our kids.

Thoughts?