Opening and Closing Doors Together

This has been a big year for me! In September I started my freshman year of college…which is a big adjustment in anyone’s life. But I also jumped into the world of college sports by joining the cross country team at USF, and it’s been a blast. We spent a week getting to know each other and training out in the Big Horn Mountains of Wyoming, then trained together in the hot, sticky, humid South Dakota heat. During my senior year I wasn’t exactly sure I wanted to run in college, because it is a huge commitment. Practice is every day from 3:30 until sometimes close to six if we’ve had to drive somewhere to do a workout. Add in Saturday meets, and it’s a lot to handle. As a senior, I wasn’t sure if I wanted to pile all that up onto my plate. But I’m glad I did, because the girls on my team are some of the closest friends I’ve made at college.

But even with all the positives I’ve experienced with college running, that part of my life is now over. In January I started experiencing some pretty bad pain in my leg, which I later found out was an IT band injury. I won’t even try to explain what it is because I don’t even really know what it is. All I know is that it made running impossible, and I was forced to stop and rest it. I began cross training and did that until the end of February, missing my entire indoor season because of this injury. But it started feeling better and I decided to just finish out the season and decide how I felt about doing one more season of cross country in the fall. While doing my first real track workout of the season on Monday, however, the pain came back again, and I started to get worried. In the weeks that my injury seemed to be healing though, I took a hard look at my finances and decided that doing another season was impossible because I wouldn’t have the time to train this summer because I’d be working so many hours, and I can’t justify spending 20 hours a week running for free when I could be working and saving money to pay for school and the wedding. Add in an injury that just won’t seem to go away, and I decided not to finish out this track season competitively. I don’t want to injury myself further; I want to be able to enjoy running for life and I simply don’t want to risk getting permanently injured because of overtraining now.

So, yesterday was a big day for me because it was the official end of my competitive running career. At least on a team; I can still do road races, and I’m catching marathon fever. I don’t want to give up running and racing…racing is what makes the training worthwhile! So hopefully my future hubby will support me when I’m doing 20 mile training runs for a marathon J

Here’s where the story gets really exciting though! Yesterday as I sat in my coach’s office to tell him I was done competing, I got a phone call. I quickly looked at the number and dismissed the call because I didn’t recognize the area code. They left a message though…it was from a publishing house!

No one outside of my family and soon to be father and sister-in-law know about the project I’ve been working on since October, but I figured I’d finally let you all in on my exciting journey. God has planted in me the love of reading and writing, and for the past few years I’ve had a story line swirling around in my head. I’ve always dreamed of being published, but for some reason I figured I’d have to wait until I was older to even think about getting published. Something clicked in October though, and I decided to just start writing what was in my head. It was pretty stop and go in the fall and winter; I simply didn’t have the time to sit and write a novel, and I got discouraged pretty easily. How horrible would it be to start a novel, then get stuck somewhere in the middle? It wasn’t until I finally told my wonderful husband to be about my dream that I really took off on this project. Once I had someone keeping me accountable and asking me questions about where I was at in the storyline, I really started pounding it out. As of right now, I’m about three or four chapters from being completely finished…when six months ago I was worried I’d never finish! Just to give you a rough idea of how big a project this is, I’m at about 85,000 words so far, roughly 220 pages of writing.

I won’t give away many plot details, but I will say that this book might be a hard read for some people; it’s about some pretty serious issues facing young adults today, including abortion. I have a passion about seeing abortion come to an end in America, so I wanted to show people how even in difficult situations, such as date rape, abortion is harmful. The main character goes through a remarkable journey, and in the end the whole point is about coming back home, and returning to God in the midst of turmoil.

So, the book is almost complete, but the journey has just begun. Once its finished I’ll have to do a complete read through to edit and make sure everything flows, makes sense, and that the characters come alive and are relatable. After that…it’s kind of scary. Sending the manuscript off to an editor and then to a publisher freaks me out, because with that comes the risk of rejection. Good thing I have such an awesome support system backing me up, though, reminding me to trust God. If He wants the book to get published, it will.

In the midst of a difficult decision yesterday, it almost felt that God was opening a new door for me while I was still closing the door of running. Getting that call from a publisher was the final push that told me I was making the right choice with deciding not to compete anymore. I probably won’t go with this publishing house; I signed up to get some free information about book publishing from a random website, but still. Getting that call was exciting.

I am beyond thankful for Ben in the midst of all this! He’s listened to me go back and forth about running all year! Running and I have a love/hate relationship, you see. Sometimes I can’t get enough of it, and I get so excited about training and racing. Other times I’ll go on for days about how I can’t wait to be done with it and move on to other things. But we ended on good terms, and it’s not really the end! I’ll try my hand at road racing, and of course there are marathons to tackle as well. But Ben has been there through it all, and he’s just as excited about I am about seeing this book come alive. And it made me think about how important it is in marriage to support each other through everything. Our dreams make living life worthwhile, it gives us something to reach and work for. If Ben didn’t support my desire to get published, I’d probably get discouraged and give it up. But he pushes me and supports me; he listens to my ideas and frustrations. He gives me time to write when he probably would rather be doing other things. I want to do the same for him! He tends to have crazier dreams than I do and I won’t get into that, but I want him to know that if he believes God has given him a dream, I will support him and encourage him to pursue that dream. No sense living life regretting not chasing a big dream!

I’ll keep you posted about what’s happening in the next few months, and your prayers would be appreciated. My deepest desire is that God would use my passion for writing to lead people back to him, because in the end, it’s all about Jesus. Without him, life isn’t worth living, and we have no big dreams to pursue.

Matthew 6:33- “But seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these things will be added to you.”

Dream big, my friends.

Wedding Gowns and Bridal Shows

I think Ben and I are in a minority group, a group that is dwindling and dying no thanks to society’s lax views on purity and marriage. Earlier in January I went to David’s Bridal with my parents and a few bridesmaids to pick out my wedding dress. Tradition holds that the wedding dress is white to symbolize the bride’s purity. I’m not sure how many people actually think about that when picking out a gown…I didn’t really either…but it’s still a really cool tradition that I wish more people did think about. I’m signed up with this website called “The Knot,” and every few weeks they send out a newsletter, oftentimes with a list of wedding dos and don’ts. Last week’s letter came with a list of 12 Worst Pieces of Wedding Advice, and the first one was about the color of the dress. Someone said: “My grandmother told me that I must wear a white dress or else people will start thinking that I'm not a virgin. I'm a 30-year-old bride who has been living with my fiance for six years.[1] To this “The Knot” replied: “this "rule" is completely antiquated. In fact, there are probably quite a few engaged virgins out there who will choose to wear ivory (gasp!) on their wedding day. Wear whichever color you love that looks best with your skin tone. In fact, white works best on darker skin tones, and ivory shades flatter lighter skin.” So, not a huge deal, but it did make me kind of sad that the website thought the white dress rule, the rule concerning purity, is “antiquated;” old fashioned, in the past, obsolete. No one cares about that rule anymore. Wear whatever color makes your skin look best. No one’s really a virgin on their wedding day anymore anyway.

Read more: 12 Worst Pieces of Wedding AdviceTheKnot.com - http://wedding.theknot.com/wedding-planning/planning-a-wedding/articles/12-worst-pieces-of-wedding-advice-ever.aspx#ixzz1qEzWl5M2

In March Ben and I went to a Bridal Show. Yup, we both went. And we both enjoyed it. There were actually quite a few couples that came…Bridal Shows aren’t just for the ladies! Anyway, right when we walked in we came to a table to get registered for the big cash prize. To register, we were given the choice to either fill out a “nice” questionnaire or a “naughty” questionnaire. Maybe Ben and I are just really naïve or maybe we just didn’t think the questions would be as naughty as they were…but we innocently said “we’ll do the naughty one.” After all, the naughty one gets your name put in three times, the nice one only gets your name put in once. I took one look at the first question though and changed my mind. I won’t go into details, but I was horrified. Ben valiantly tried to fill his out, but we couldn’t answer one question honestly on that sheet. We gave up and filled out the nice one, and we laughed and shook our heads as we left that table. The people running the Bridal Show pretty much assume that most couples are not virgins and they are probably living together. And that makes me sad. We got a call a few days later about something we won…that we aren’t actually sure is legit…but we had to go back to the hotel we won it at and meet with the company giving it away. There was one other couple receiving the prize too, and when the man asked us if we were living together, the other couple boldly and proudly said no. Ben and I smiled…it seems rare these days to meet other couples who hold the same values as we do. We wouldn’t have judged them if they said yes, but it was nice to meet them and see their values line up with ours.  

It’s frustrating to see Christian values stomped on, but after meeting that couple I was reassured that Ben and I are not alone. We live in a world that tells us married people don’t have as much fun, they are limited to a sexual experience with only one person…and what fun is that? There are even websites out there encouraging people to have affairs. They’ll help you meet other married people to have an affair with! Their motto is “Life is short…have an affair!” So sick. We want to live for today, have as much fun as possible. But if you do a little digging, you’ll find that married couples are happier and much better off than people who jump around from relationship to relationship, giving up themselves over and over again to different people. Here’s a good website to check out if you don’t believe me: http://www.crosswalk.com/family/marriage/in-defense-of-marriage-the-unique-benefits-of-traditional-marriage-11580289.html  

It’s not my place to judge those who don’t hold the same beliefs as I do, and I am a firm believer in sexual healing. Just because you messed up doesn’t mean you can’t one day enjoy the benefits of a healthy, marriage relationship. Here’s one more link if you haven’t had enough: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IlJFvxad1_A

So, take heart, members of the dwindling minority group. There are others out there who still hold fast to what the Bible teaches. And there is healing for those who may have fallen out of step.

My thoughts on Women's History Month and traditional gender roles

Some of you may know that March is Women’s History Month. I just found out today at chapel, and it definitely got me thinking. In some ways it’s a little offending that women have to have a special month to be recognized as part of history. When is Men’s History month? There isn’t one! Strange? I think so. In my mind history includes all people groups: men, women, whites, blacks, Native Americans, all age groups, and all belief systems. They’re all a part of history and we should recognize them altogether. But, our society feels the need to separate these groups, so we have Women’s History month.

Because we women have a special month all about our history, it makes me feel that perhaps society doesn’t think our contributions were significant enough. Like I was saying, there isn’t a men’s history month…we don’t question whether or not men’s contributions were significant. So this is where a lot of women get all riled up, and feminism comes into play big time. And I am NOT a fan of feminism, at all. I’ve seen women take great offense when a man opens a door for her or offers to help her carry something heavy. The look of shock on those men’s faces is disheartening to me. Women constantly complain that men are mistreating them, yet when they try to care for women they get the door slammed in their face. What’s a man to do? Feminism makes it very hard for men to follow the Lord’s commands to care for, respect, and love women. I think women need to make up their minds here! Are we going to be angry that men often mistreat us, or are going to take offense when they try and care for us? 

Now, I’m all for individuality and women taking care of themselves, but there are plenty of men out there who want to take care of them too. And I don’t think opening a door is saying, “I think you’re the weaker sex so I need to do everything for you.” I think it is a kind gesture, an act of respect. And who doesn’t like being respected? So I just really wish women would make up their minds and help our brothers out!

Women’s History Month has also gotten me thinking about traditional gender roles. In my house, my mom did the laundry and most of the cleaning. My dad helped cook and did dishes. My mom sewed, did most of the comforting and patching up when we were hurt, and she did most of the household shopping. My dad took care of the yard and garden when we planted one, and spent Saturday’s pulling weeds in the summer or shoveling snow in the winter. I’d say my family was pretty traditional in following society’s gender roles, but not always. My dad did more cooking and dishes than most fathers probably do. And my mom enjoyed mowing the lawn and pulling weeds as well. While they generally stuck to the roles society said they should fill, they were okay breaking those “rules” once in a while. I imagine that’s how it will be in my household. I know Ben is capable of scrubbing bathtubs and doing laundry, but I feel I do it better! What’s the old saying…? If you want something done right you have to do it yourself? I’d have no problem asking Ben to throw in a load of laundry or to clean the bathroom…but in all honesty I’d rather do it myself because then I know it will get done the way I want it too. And just like my mom, I probably won’t have a problem mowing the lawn or shoveling once in a while, but I’d rather Ben does it. He’s stronger. I know I could do it just fine, but Ben could probably do it faster and more efficiently. That’s just the way it is, and I’m fine with it.

So it really bothers me when people get so angry about our “roles.” Men and women are perfectly capable of performing the other sex’s duties, but is it a bad thing when we stick to them? I’m not going to yell at Ben when he doesn’t do his own laundry…at least I hope I won’t! I know I have a better idea of what clothes together, what temperature to wash them at, and I am certainly better at folding clothes than he is! I’ve seen his folding jobs…it is not pretty, people. Not pretty. I simply do it better, so I will do most of the laundry. I am useless with tools and will never be able to fix a leaky pipe or decide what is causing the dishwasher or washer and dryer to not work. I just can’t do it. So I will expect Ben to be able to take care of our home and yard because I can’t do it. Just because Ben will do the more manual labors in the home doesn’t make him the stronger sex. He’s just better at it! And we’ll hopefully be sharing some duties, too. We’re excited to learn to actually cook together, and dishes will be a shared job. We both ate off those plates, why should one person be responsible for the mess? It will probably be trial and error with some tasks. It will take us a while to find a comfortable rhythm.

I will never believe that Ben “rules” over me or that he is the boss. I do believe that men are called to be spiritual leaders for their families, and that is what I expect from him, and he knows this. Genesis 1:27 says that “God created man in his own image, in the image of God he created them, male and female he created them.” He never says he created man above women, to be their rulers. This comes of course after the fall. But again I don’t believe this gives Ben the right to rule over me and make all the decisions. We’ll work together and make decisions as a team. I believe that Ben is to “live with his wife in an understanding way, showing honor to the woman as the weaker vessel, since they are heirs with you of the grace of life…” (1 Peter 3:7). And in a certain way, as the Bible teaches, I will “submit to my own husband, as to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife even as Christ is the head of the church, his body, and is himself its savior.” (Ephesians 5:22). Above all, I believe that husbands should love their wives, and wives should respect their husbands. That’s how God created us to live and treat each other.

But don’t think I won’t be reminding Ben of this important verse:

“Then the Lord God said, “It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him a helper just right for him.”

He needs me. Teehee. I’m not ever going to let him forget this. J

God's Ultimate and Perfect Timing

491 days to go until wedding day! That is a LOT of days, and Ben and I get bummed sometimes about this. It would be great if the wedding could be this summer or fall, but it’s just not a good idea. The best idea would be to wait till Ben graduated and had a real job lined up, but that’s even more days and we would hate that even more. So we just talk all the time about how we wish our big day was sooner, even though there’s nothing we can really do about it. Seems like we’ve always been waiting for something. We waited six months to officially start dating because I wasn’t allowed to date till I turned 16. Then we waited a year for me to graduate so we could be in the same place again. Now we’re again waiting for our wedding day. Its times like this that I wish I could just speed time up and get on with it! There’s so much we want to do, and it seems so far away. We can’t wait to have a family, but again, that’s years from now. We can’t wait to have our own house, but school debts will keep us renting longer than we will probably like. Why can’t time just speed up??

But then again…I’ll never have this time again. Only for 491 more days will I be an excited young bride-to-be. Only 491 more days for me to dream and plan and prepare for my wedding. This is the only time in my life where it is acceptable for me to spend hours online looking at ceremony decorations, reception centerpieces, and wedding cakes. And this is one of the only times in my life that people really love hearing all about me and Ben. Seriously, if I wasn’t engaged, people would probably get pretty annoyed at all my ramblings! We really are enjoying this time in our life where it’s just about us.

I know that the years will fly by, and someday I will really wish that time would slow down, not speed up. Our big day will be here before we are probably really ready for it, and then from there the time will really fly. I want to fully enjoy this time in my life, with all its craziness and yet sweet simplicity. Aside from paying for school and doing well in classes, I have no big worries or bills to pay yet. I’m surrounded by great people and the opportunity to just be random and crazy is always available while living in a dorm full of girls. I can laugh and be silly and watch ridiculous movies and just enjoy this life that God has blessed me with. While I absolutely cannot wait to get married, I don’t want to take this wonderful time in my life for granted.

So, I’m just working through living in the here and now. I will continue to plan and dream, but I refuse to forfeit this time in my life. The wedding will get here soon enough, we’ll have a house when the time is right, and the pitter patter of little Whitley feet will come when we are both good and ready for that. I’ll want to freeze life when we have kids, just as I know my mom often did when we were little. Time is precious and it flies right by, so I’m just gonna live and enjoy each stage as God presents it to me. His timing is ultimate and perfect…who am I to question it?

“He has made everything beautiful in its time. He has also set eternity in the human heart; yet no one can fathom what God has done from beginning to end. I know that there is nothing better for people than to be happy and to do good while they live. That each of them may eat and drink, and find satisfaction in all their toil—this is the gift of God. I know that everything God does will endure forever; nothing can be added to it and nothing taken from it. God does it so that people will fear him.” – Ecclesiastes 3:11-14

Learning to Love

So naturally since I got engaged, love has been on my mind quite a bit. Something about our upcoming marriage makes me feel so much more in love than I was before we were engaged, and much of my day is spent dreaming about what our wedding day will be like. At the same time, I’ve been reading through this book called “Crazy Love” by Francis Chan, a book all about God’s love for his creation. Let’s just say…love has been on my mind almost nonstop since December 7, 2011. Reading this book has really gotten me thinking about what real love really is…if you get to thinking about it really hard, your brain might start to hurt. Society has really skewed our thoughts on what love really is. Is it just a word, something someone says but don’t always mean? Is it something you feel about someone else but can disappear when people change? Is it action…like going out on dates and spending time together? Or is it a combination of feelings and actions? I don’t really know; it’s hard to define. So I’ve been doing some serious thinking about what I think love is, and how I learned this. I look back to how I was raised, how I interacted with my siblings, and what I learned at church and through my relationship with God. It’s given me a much better understanding of how I see love, so I thought I would share.

I feel extremely blessed to have grown up in the family I did. My parents are both Christians, and I never worried about whether or not they loved each other. No one has a perfect relationship and I watched my parents travel the ups and downs of marriage, but I never worried that I would wake up one day and one of them would be gone. I saw them hug, kiss, hold hands, laugh, and tease each other. I sat beside them in church every Sunday and watched them open up the Bible to seek out God’s wisdom. I saw their faces in each concert crowd and heard their excited cries as I ran dozens of cross country and track races. I also heard them get into fights and get angry. I felt the tension of disagreements as much as they did. But I also listened to apologies, the “I’m sorry, you were right, and I was wrong” ‘s. I saw them work through conflict. I saw my dad giving my mom his undivided attention when she was sharing a story about her day. I listened to my mom call my dad while he was at work…to just share something funny, or a concern she had. She always sought my dad first. It’s not perfect, it’s messy sometimes, and there is always room for improvement, just as in every single relationship out there. But growing up with this type of love modeled for me is such a blessing. I learned to apologize, to realize that I’m not always right. I learned that communication is important, that we always need to share our hopes, dreams, and fears with one another, even if it’s in the middle of the workday. I learned how important it is to be there for your family…to go to each concert and sporting event. I learned that it’s not easy, that it’s not always fun, but it’s worth fighting for. I am so grateful for this foundation.

My siblings and I are pretty close. We fought like crazy when we were little, especially when Emily was in charge for the night when Mom and Dad were gone. When we heard the garage door opening, we somehow always managed to calm each other down, forget about the disagreement, and pretend everything was fine when Mom asked how it went. Ok so this doesn’t sound like a good, honest love, but let me explain. We disagreed and fought. We had periods of time where we didn’t really like each other. But, we loved each other. We may have pretended everything was fine so we didn’t get in trouble, but by the next morning everything was forgiven and forgotten. We knew that the little things didn’t really matter and they weren’t worth fighting about. We’d much rather be playing and having fun than nursing a grudge. And even to this day, I know my siblings would do anything for me. I used to lecture mean little boys who would pick on my brother on the playground…I was (and still am) so protective of that guy, and I know he feels the same way. He may be younger, but he is protective too and only wants the best for me. When my sisters and I get together, it is pure chaos. I laugh more with them than anyone else. I can call Kate on the phone and talk for an hour about what’s going on in my life that week, and she instantly makes my day brighter. She is hilarious. Emily and I are quite a few years apart, but I think we are very similar…we have our mother’s genes. Shane, Ben, and Dad would understand this best. J My siblings taught me not to sweat the little things, to pick my battles wisely. Not everything is worth fighting about, it’s better to just enjoy our time together. They too taught me the importance of communication…talking through issues and sharing life’s funny adventures together brings us so much closer together. They taught me how important it is to just be there for each other, to help each other through life. Love between siblings is much different than the love between husband and wife, but I definitely put into action what I learned about love from them in my life every day. Thanks guys. J

God is the best example of love in my life. After all, 1 John 4:8 says “God is love.” It blows my mind to think God knew me before the creation of the universe; that he died for me. He cares about me, my name is written on his heart, he knows all my comings and goings. He knows the number or hairs on my head, for goodness sake! (I’d like to know that too.) I could reference a million verses about God’s love, but I don’t have the room or time to do that. My relationship with God is the number one most important thing in my life, and in return I have learned how to love. I strive to live like Christ, so that means not just learning how to love Ben, but everyone, including those I don’t really like. So this means forgiving. Forgiving Ben when he hurts me, and forgiving those people who have wronged me and the ones I love. It means that I am a servant. I need to forget about myself. This life isn’t about me! I need to put Ben’s needs above my own and stop expecting him to fulfill all of my needs. Love is sacrificial. Jesus laid down his life for me, and in return I need to do the same. 1 John 3:16 says that “This is how we know what love is: Jesus Christ laid down his life for us. And we ought to lay down our lives for our brothers and sisters.” Love seems to be all about action when I think about it in this context…it’s so much more than just a thing to say or an emotion that gives us sweaty palms and butterflies in the stomach. “Dear children, let’s not merely say that we love each other; let us show the truth by our actions. Our actions will show that we belong to the truth, so we will be confident when we stand before God.” 1 John 3:18-19. I want to love Ben like this. A selfless, sacrificial, serving kind of love.

Most of all, I just want to keep learning how to love. It doesn’t end when you get married; you can’t stop learning how to love just because you have the security or marriage. We’re always changing, and I want to keep learning about Ben and loving him in new, Ben-specific ways. We’re excited to read the book “Love and Respect” by Dr. Emerson Eggerichs to learn more about love before our big day. I’ll keep you posted about this, but I am pumped! Even before reading the book it makes so much sense…Ben wants my respect and I want his love. He loves keeping me included in all his plans, every decision he makes he includes me. I can already see that he wants me to trust him and respect his decisions. I’ve already been trying to keep this in mind in everyday conversation. I want him to know that I trust and respect him. I need the security of love, I need to feel cherished and wanted. I need to hear him say he loves me and that he’ll always be here for me. So it will be really really fun to learn more about this. I think it will be great for our relationship.

I hope we can be an inspiration to all of you. My most heartfelt thanks to my wonderful parents and siblings for being the best models of love in my life. And the biggest thanks belongs to God, who made this all possible. Without Him, I wouldn’t know what love even is.

How I know

I remember thinking when I was little “How will I know when I’ve found ‘the one?’” There are so many people on this earth, how am I supposed to know when I’m in love and who I want to spend the rest of my life with? It wasn’t like when Ben and I started dating I knew for sure I wanted to be with him forever. I remember in the beginning questioning whether or not I even wanted to do the dating thing, because in the real world not too many high school sweethearts end up getting married. There was eventually going to be a breakup…or we would get married. At sixteen, it was a lot to think about. I knew there would be a year where I’d be left behind to finish high school while Ben moved on to college, and with that came the fear he’d meet a girl and be hit with “this is the girl I’m supposed to be with.” I’ll admit to having daymares about Ben coming home to tell me he’d met someone else. How awkward would that have been?? But of course as the year went on and Ben came home pretty much every two weeks to spend the weekends with me, I knew he wasn’t going anywhere. I think Ben has been sure of us since even the first few months…I’m not sure how often he had thoughts about breaking up, or even if he had them at all. He’s been in it for the long haul all along. And of course I no longer have those terrifying thoughts and am just relishing the feeling of being engaged; the promise of forever stretching out in front of me.

So I’ve been thinking about my younger self with all my worries about “the one” and have been formulating an answer that I would have wanted my younger self, and other young girls now, to know. When you’re little, you dream about all the things you want to do when you grow up: going to college, getting married, finding a job, buying a house, having kids, traveling….and the list goes on and on depending on how adventurous you are. In our little girl minds, we picture our tall, dark, and handsome mystery husbands doing all these things with us. For me, I stopped picturing this mystery husband and starting picturing doing these things with Ben and this is when I knew Ben was “the one.” He wasn’t just a boyfriend anymore, someone to take me out on dates and enjoy feeling loved and appreciated with…he became a much more permanent figure.

Now, when I graduate college I know that Ben will be sitting in the audience cheering and clapping for me. On my wedding day, I’ll be looking into Ben’s eyes and pledging my life to him. When I’m looking for jobs and enduring those awkward interviews, Ben will be encouraging and coaching me. Buying a house becomes exciting and a lot less scary with Ben. When I meet my newborn for the first time, Ben is the only person I want there to share that precious moment with me. As I add to the list of places I want to see and things I want to do, I know that Ben will always be there to keep me company. Unless God decides to take Ben home earlier than I expect, I plan on experiencing all of life’s amazing milestones with him at my side…and I cannot wait for all our adventures.

Memories

1182. This is how many days Ben and I have been together. Or, you could look at it in a few other ways: 3 years, 2 months, and 26 days. 168 weeks. 28,368 hours. 1,702,080 minutes. 102,124,800 seconds. It’s kind of fun to break it down like this and think back to all that’s happened in this time. I’ve been thinking for a while now what my next blog would be about, and I’d like to share with all of you some of my favorite memories; some of the funniest and sweetest moments that have happened in all this time. If you know Ben at all, you know without a doubt that he isn’t exactly normal…and this has made for some pretty hilarious times. He is also one of the sweetest people in the world, treating me better than I deserve most of the time. Here they are, some of my favorite memories for all of you to enjoy.

·         On a beautiful day in late September or early October 2008, Ben and I decided to go fishing. This was before we were dating and before I was actually allowed to spend time with a boy by myself, so I was slightly freaking out when we drove off in Ben’s gloriously rusted out truck. We headed to Subway to pick up lunch for the day, and this is where it got interesting. We got our sandwiches and headed back out to the truck, and Ben struggled to get his keys out of his pocket because his hands were full. He ended up setting his pop on top of the truck so he could fish out the keys, and then we were off. We had the windows down because it was so nice outside. We made it all the way to the Duck Pond across from the Hospital, when all of a sudden Ben says, “What the heck?” and starts wiping his arm off and rolling up the window. Some random liquid had started spilling into the truck. We determined it wasn’t raining, and I remember just laughing and saying, “aww, Ben! Your truck is crying!” We were both kind of confused, but didn’t think much of it and continued driving on. About two minutes later, it dawns on Ben that he had put his pop on top the truck as he fished the keys out of his pocket. I can remember exactly how he said the next statement: “Oh. I just realized. Subway cup. On top of the truck.” We both just start laughing, which erased all awkwardness that we were feeling. It’s been an inside joke between us ever since, and every time we go to Subway now I remind Ben to put his Subway cup inside the truck, not on top.

·         Ben and I like to go on “fancy dates” once in a while. We get dressed up, take pictures, and then feel slightly awkward because it seems like hardly anyone dresses up to go out anymore. (Well, I feel awkward…Ben probably doesn’t care.) The first time we did this, we went to Minerva’s in Yankton. I don’t even remember what he was eating…it was either some kind of pasta or a steak…but we were having normal conversation and enjoying dinner when all of a sudden, Ben puts his silverware down and looks out the window. He’s looking kind of flushed and has this weird faraway look in his eyes, and he’s not talking. I start freaking out, because it looks like he’s going to be sick, and how embarrassing would that be! It only lasts a few seconds, and now he’s just trying to calm me down. I was right; all of a sudden he just didn’t feel good and thought he was going to be sick. Luckily it passed, but I wish I had a camera to capture that face because it was so freaky. Every time we go out now to a nicer place, I always tease Ben about that. Luckily Ben is a good sport J

·         Ben is seriously the sweetest boy I have ever met. I had a really bad day back in high school, but when I came home later that night Ben had dropped off some flowers to brighten my mood. I needed a weekend to myself once after a stressful week, and Ben stopped by with a pint of my favorite ice cream for me. But my favorite memory of Ben’s romantic side happened the summer of 2010-the summer before he left for college. I had been freaking out for a few months now, because I knew the coming year was going to be hard. We’re always together, and it was just going to be lonely without him. We were hanging out at Ben’s house that summer night, chilling on the trampoline. I remember it was a little chilly that night, but it felt so nice snuggled next to Ben. I had my head on his arm, and all of a sudden I start sobbing…I couldn’t stop. Ben hates it when I cry, but I needed to get this out of my system and he just starts playing with my hair and reassuring me that everything will be fine, it’s only a year and we won’t have to do this again. I remember how clear the sky was that night… how the wind felt on my skin, giving me goose bumps…how I couldn’t stop crying. A few weeks later we went on a final walk around campus to say goodbye and he picks me up and swings me around and plants a huge kiss on me right in public. The year ended up passing pretty quickly, but I got really antsy in March, I just wanted the year to be over. We were on the phone one night and I was just so frustrated and annoyed…the next day I give Ben a call as I head home for open lunch. He tells me to wait a few minutes to go to my car, which confused me a little bit…”look down the street, what do you see?” he asks. Sure enough, here comes Ben driving to the school on a random weekday to surprise me. I love this boy.

I wish I could remember more moments like this…I of course journaled most of this but that journal is packed away somewhere in my basement. Every moment I spend with Ben is fun, because he’s so goofy and he brings out that side of me too. A simple trip to Wal-Mart for Zebra Cakes and Mello Yellows is entertaining with Ben. He makes me laugh every day, which is one of the biggest reasons I liked Ben in the first place. He treats me so much better than I deserve most of the time…I got pretty sassy sometimes last year when I was missing him so much. Good thing he’s so patient! Maybe if I think about it some more I’ll post more fun memories, but for now…that’s all you get J