How Pregnancy is Turning Me into a Huge Sap and What it's Teaching me About Christ

I consider myself to be a fairly un-sappy girl—well, before pregnancy, that is! I used to poke fun at people who could tear up during a movie or while reading a sad book, but it looks like the tables have turned on me, especially now that I am in my 13^th week of pregnancy and the risk of miscarriage has dropped significantly. The thought of losing this baby has been in the back of my mind since day one, and I’m breathing a sigh of relief and praising God that for now, everything seems to be right on track.

I spend quite a bit of my day thinking about the little one we’re so excited to welcome into our lives in January, which of course, makes me really emotional! I find myself smiling at and watching new moms cuddling their new babies at the pool when I’m watching my summer program kiddos. I’ll feel a marble well up in my throat thinking about holding my own baby. I wonder what his or her sweet face will look like. I have so many dreams and plans for this little one that it almost overwhelms me.

Something completely new overwhelmed me, reducing me to tears while driving down a busy street in Sioux Falls today. I was listening to “How He Loves” by David Crowder, and I just could not handle thinking about the deep, deep love that the Lord already has for this baby! Please listen to the song before reading on:

God already has all the physical traits of our baby etched out. He knows what the baby’s sweet face will look like—he’s already picked out what splash of color the baby’s eyes will be, he’s carved the dimples that I’m just absolutely positive will grace his or her face, and he’s already counted out the number of hairs that will cover the baby’s soft little head. But more importantly—far more importantly—he is preparing our baby’s heart to hunger and thirst after him. Jesus says in John 4:13-14 to the Samaritan woman at the well that “Everyone who drinks this water will be thirsty again, but whoever drinks the water I give them will never thirst again.” Our baby will understand physical thirst—and it will understand spiritual thirst as well. God has programed us to desire something in this world. As Christians we know that the desire can only be filled with Christ. God is preparing our little one to battle this spiritual thirst, and I am already praying that he or she will choose the living water of Jesus, and not the physical “water” that the world will offer up. I find it amazing that even as this little one is still growing, God is already pursuing his or her heart! As the song says, he loves this baby! Passionately, richly, deeply, and with a power that is so all satisfying that it made me a teary, blubbery mess right in front of Target today just thinking about it.

I’ve heard it said that you never truly understand what it means to love another until you hold your baby in your arms. I’m looking forward to that moment. But I am so, so thankful that God is already holding our baby in his strong arms. I am thankful that God is revealing his heart to me during this pregnancy; offering up just a tiny taste of the love he has for me as I love my own baby. Seriously, this little button is only the size of a peach and already I can’t comprehend the love I feel for him or her! How could anyone love anything more than this? Rereading what Christ accomplished on the cross puts it into perspective in a hurry. You can read about it here: 

https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Matthew+27%3A32-55&version=NIV

I can’t wait to see our child learn about what Christ has done for him or her! I hope that their eyes fill with tears when they truly realize the depth of what Christ has done for them. I can’t wait for the day when they make the decision to become a follower of Jesus. How wonderful will it be to be both a mother and a sister or brother in Christ to my child?? I find so much peace and comfort knowing that in all the ways I will fall short as a parent, in all the ways I won’t love this baby adequately, that God’s love will always be there for my little one—that he will never, ever fail him or her. His love will always run deeper than mine, and for that I am truly grateful.

I’m also a little bit emotional about it J

Thirteen Week! I realize the writing is super small....oops! Baby's fingerprints have now formed, the head makes up 1/3 of his or her body, is 3 inches long and weighs about 1 oz. Mom feels SO MUCH BETTER than two weeks ago, and even though its hard to tell in this picture there IS a little baby bump happening, folks. It's a baby, not cookies, I promise :) 

Oh, Baby!

I had a flashback the other day, sparked, interestingly enough, by a birthday notification on Facebook. Most of you know that Ben and I have known each other for essentially our entire lives. We were always in the background of each other’s lives. If you look through pictures of each of our childhoods, you’ll see glimpses of this—there Ben is standing behind me on the bleachers during a Christmas play at church, there I am on the sidelines in photos of Ben’s AWANA years. Church was our common ground, so when we made the decision to begin dating we wanted the church to be a part of our relationship. The easiest way for us to do this was to get an important role model to both of us involved—our youth pastor Jeremy Nelson! His recent birthday brought back a sweet memory, although one that was not always so fondly remembered. I went in for a meeting once with a Jeremy and a few other people and I was the first to arrive. Ben and I had only recently begun dating and Jeremy said something like this: “So, you and Ben are dating now, huh? I think that’s great! I think it’s awesome that you’re ready to look forward to being a wife and a mother!”

Now, those were not his exact words, but I do know that he mentioned both marriage and parenthood, which at the time completely freaked me out. I was only fifteen, for crying out loud! Thinking about walking down the aisle and having kids with someone I had only just begun dating terrified me—but it did get me thinking. We all know that relationships—especially high school relationships—end in one of two ways: eventually it ends heartbreak or it leads to the wedding alter. With this in the forefront of my mind, I began to wonder if it was worth it to jump into a relationship. My dad had spoken similar words that had me thinking along the same lines, words that up until recently didn’t make sense to me.

Date for marriage.

My fifteen year old brain did not understand this. Did he mean date with the intention of getting married? Who would tell their fifteen year old to do this? It wasn’t until later that I understood that he meant to date in such a way that my eventual husband would be honored. We had no way of knowing that Ben would one day become that husband, of course, but I think all of us are glad he did!

The thought of being married and a parent is of course not so terrifying to me now. Well…the married part isn’t…the parent part is still a foreign concept to me! God has richly blessed us in the last year with a wonderful full-time job for Ben and a new house, and with these two blessings we began to plan. We planned for foster children to enter our house soon. We planned to build a fence in our backyard and bring a puppy home to run around and make messes in.

God planned for us to have a baby, instead!

We are of course thrilled to welcome this little Whitley into our home. Being a mom is the one thing I have always been sure that I wanted to do. Before I wanted to be a writer, before I wanted to be a social worker, I wanted to be a mom. (Ask my own mother how many hours were spent rocking and tucking in baby dolls in our house!) But this does not mean we’re not overwhelmed and scared—but I suppose every new parent to be feels the same way! Things are going to get tricky. I have one year of school and an internship to get done in the midst of being a new mom and I am overwhelmed by the decisions and purchases that need to be made before we can bring our little button home with us. I will be the first to admit that I dip slightly into the “Type A” Personality Type. I love lists and being organized. I am a planner, which if you’ve been watching my Pinterest activity over the past few weeks you’re probably smiling and laughing. I’ve pinned so many lists and plans about baby needs and delivery that I’ve lost count. I just want to be prepared! I want to be organized and on top of everything.

God always has a way of bringing just the right amount of chaos into my life to help me balance myself out, however. Last week Ben and I discovered quite a bit of water seeping into our newly carpeted basement, which forced me to reevaluate how I respond to negative events in my life. We have two girls living in our basement this summer, and the water caused the girls to take residence elsewhere—one of those places being my living room floor! Suddenly four people were stuck upstairs, using the same bathroom, and we were all a bit frustrated by the situation. I could have easily whined and pouted (okay…maybe I did to my husband just a teeny bit) but what would have been the point? I watched my dad, Ben, and a good friend tackle the water and I knew the queen sized ben laying in the middle of the floor wouldn’t be there forever. Sooner or later things were going to go back to normal—and it wouldn’t be because of me stressing out and being upset.

Guess what? The basement is dry and everything is back in its place! Well, sort of. I have been experiencing some of the worst days of pregnancy so far, and I am just not feeling like myself. Remember how I told you I like to plan things? That includes our meals for the week, but being so sick and tired and has made doing so much harder. Pregnancy brain is a real thing, folks—I am forgetting things left and right. Normally I would stress all day if I knew I didn’t have a dinner plan, but recently I have been able to shrug it off and say “Ya know, I got through this day in one piece and I kept everything in my tummy! That’s good enough for me. Pizza Hut is on speed dial anyway!”

It has been freeing to allow myself to relax. To let the clutter in the closet build up and be able to just shut the door and make the decision to not let it bother me. To forget about dinner plans and tell Ben to take me out for the second time this week. To realize that when a baby comes into our home, the organized life that I have planned for us on Pinterest is probably not going to be a reality.

But you know what? I am so happy that organized home will probably never be a reality for us. Because when I think back on the life my mom and dad gave me, I don’t remember organized closets and Tupperware that had matching lids. I remember sitting around the table laughing and sharing meals that had most likely been thrown together by my amazing mom after a day of laundry and loving on her kids. I remember snuggling down to family movie nights and thinking, “This is what the word ‘security’ means. I remember my dad tickling my nose with my pink blanket and teaching me how to pray to Jesus as he tucked me in at night. I remember love. Chaos. Clutter. Security. Safety. Jesus.

I want to give our little button those things. I want to forget all about what I think I need to do and focus instead on what God has called me to do. To love the little life he has blessed us with and raise this child to bring glory to his name.

I can hardly wait to get started.

 The actual due date in January 15th!

 Mom has nooooo idea that in a few weeks she will feel very much not like herself! Still enjoying lots of energy and a good appetite at six weeks

Baby at 7 weeks old! We thought you were a bit older and are bummed we have to wait a few more weeks to meet you. You'll be worth the wait, though!

Still smiling despite the exhaustion and morning (wait, no. It's ALL DAY) sickness! Baby is 11 weeks on tomorrow!

   

Big Life Update! Big and Scary Adult Type Things

Ben and I are beginning to walk along the road to homeownership! It is certainly an exciting time in our lives, and we feel extremely blessed by the Lord to be able to afford a nice home. We have a spare room stacked to the ceiling with boxes that we can’t wait to pack up and unload into a new place.

We are so happy. But my social worker conscience is conflicted.

I’ve been to a developing nation, where the houses looked like this:

This is in Punta Gorda, Belize, where just a short car ride away will lead to a stunning vacation resort. When Ben and I took a mission’s trip to Belize in high school, it was difficult for us to wrap our minds around the fact that two totally different worlds existed so close to each other: one world consists of frivolous wealth, the other of humble people scraping out a living no one in America would even consider having.

But did you know that people are indeed living like that in America? In South Dakota? I work with those people every day. I drop 22 children off in the poorest parts of Sioux Falls in building I wouldn't even want to step foot into and then go back to a completely different world--a world of comfort and security, where my biggest worry is the downstairs neighbor calling the landlord again because we are too loud upstairs. Today one of my students didn’t want to get off the van and go home. I told him he needed to or he would miss supper. Looking me straight in the eyes he said, “I don’t eat supper. Or breakfast. I eat lunch at school.” Talk about a knife to the heart. After looking in a fridge bursting with food earlier that day, I couldn’t find anything that appealed to my taste buds so I drove down to Subway and got a sandwich and two cookies. My student had only eaten a small school lunch and the snack provided for him at my program and wouldn’t eat again until lunch the next day. How fair is that?

Please don’t tell me that his parents need to stop being lazy and get a job. The reason he is at my program is that his parents work multiple jobs just to pay the rent and try and feed five mouths. I know because he told me. If he didn’t come to my program, he’d go home to an empty house, supervised only by his eleven year old sister, and his tummy would rumble out of hunger. I am so glad he gets to come with me instead—that he gets to eat a small snack, play soccer with his best friend, and just be a kid for a few hours before going back to a much harsher reality.

One of the biggest lessons I’ve learned in the social work program is that not everyone falls into poverty or trouble because they are lazy or that they refuse to work. Feel free to argue with me all you want on this one, but until you’ve studied society and worked with people in poverty, your point of view is limited and subjected to the preconceived notions that have been building in your mind for years—I’m still fighting to tear down my own preconceived notions myself. For someone who has always worked hard and fought for what I have, it’s not easy. It’s hard to look at people and be willing to hear the whole story. To look beyond the simple answer your brain comes up with to explain why my eight year old student and his two sisters don’t get to eat supper or breakfast. It’s simpler to write their parents off as lazy and mumble under your breath that you’re sick and tired of seeing welfare moms waste your hard earned money. (I challenge you to go out a purchase the book "Nickle and Dimed: On NOT Getting by in America," by Barbara Ehrenreich and see if it changes your mind. I'd love to chat with you about it!)

I challenge you to do some research--to actually read that book and be willing to consider a new point of view. To volunteer with low income families and see your heart and mind transform. It has been so wonderful to see skepticism and doubt blossom into compassion and empathy in my own life. I absolutely cannot wait to graduate and take my licensing exam so that I can be a social worker—so that I can be a part in watching people‘s lives change for the better.
 That’s one of the biggest reasons Ben and I felt that we should buy a house. We were both blessed to grow up in families with enough money; where breakfast, lunch, and dinner was always a guarantee. We were kids every minute of every day, because someone was always there to take care of us and to worry about big scary things for us. We didn’t realize until Belize that not everyone had a childhood like that. It would take a few more years for that to really sink in. But when it did, we decided to do something about it.

We want our home to be a blessing to others. We want it to be a place where people feel welcomed, cherished, and loved. We want laughter to ring around our dining room table; we want our couches to have permanent indentations in them from the friends that frequently sit around to share their lives with us. We want to open up our spare bedrooms to missionaries who need a place to stay while traveling. And we want to foster children who through no fault of their own are being stripped of the very childhood Ben and I were freely, undeservedly given.

Feel free to also argue with me about why we shouldn’t open our home to foster children. Please tell me how unprepared and unexperienced we are, because I will ask you when we will know we are ready. What would be the most convenient time for us to do this? When we have more money? When we have kids of our own? When we have more time?

Life isn’t predictable. We can’t wait to do the work God is calling us to do—which we feel very strongly that he has called us to foster—until we are ready, because I honestly believe that we are never ready for any of the things God brings into our lives! I wasn’t ready to make big decisions about my future when I was 18, but I did and it’s turning out pretty darn well for me. I wasn’t ready to be a lead teacher working with a group of challenging kids, but no one has died so far and kids continue fighting over who gets to hold my hand every day, so I’d say I’m doing okay. I don’t think it will ever be truly convenient for us to foster—heck, it’s not going to be convenient to parent our own future children! We will most likely always feel that there are not enough minutes in our days, days to our weeks, and weeks to our years. We will never have stacks of cash lying around collecting dust, but we are doing our best to use the money God is blessing us with for good.

I’m also going to throw out that I have studied human behavior and child psychology more in depth than most foster parents have, and that by currently working with a challenging group of kids I am cultivating a rich garden of experience. Will this prepare us fully? Heck no. I’m not kidding myself—I know what kids are capable of. At-risk kids are capable of even more! It will probably feel like I am getting run over by a bulldozer when we first get started. Re-read the above paragraph to understand why I am so excited for this anyway. We are fully aware that the life we are choosing to live is not going to be easy and safe. But we serve a big God and are excited that by his strength alone we can stumble through anyway.   

I have challenged you to fight with me twice, but I hope that you picked up that those challenges were dripping with sarcasm. I don’t want you to fight with me—I don’t want you to mail me a letter listing all the reasons we shouldn’t do this. I know all the reasons. Trust me, I’ve been studying this for three years and living it for a full year now. I know a little bit what it’s like to work with rough kids. But I cannot justify buying a nice house, decorating it all up and just sitting in it. Having it. I can’t. Not when I have students lying awake at night praying the hours will pass until its lunchtime and they can eat again. Not when there are kids out there wondering when dad will stop drinking and slamming mom up against the counter and threatening to choke her again. Not when parents who need help are stealing away the few precious years of childhood kids have by forcing them to be far more responsible than they should have to be.

Here are some practical things you can do for us! 

• Pray! That this is truly the Lord's will for us and that the house passes all inspections and that we can close and move in April. That when we decide to officially pursue foster care in the next two years that we pass all the tests and inspections. For peace of mind and wisdom if tough kids come through our doors. For Christ to reach the hearts of those tough kids so that they know, even from a short stay with us, that he loves them and has good plans for them.

• Consider donating some of your old kid stuff! We have a small stack of kids books right now. It's a start, but we'll need more! If you like to garage sale, consider keeping an eye out for kid's stuff. Some things you might want to look for are: nice, gently used board games, clean and in good condition stuffed animals, children's DVDs and BluRays, and toys such as plastic food and legos. 

• Offer practical advice on parenting. We will have no clue what we are doing sometimes--but what parent truly does? Before clucking your tongue or shaking your head or asking us what we were thinking when we handled a situation the way we did, please stop and remember what it was like to be a first time parent. Don't lecture us. But please help us in a kind way! 

Also, please don't read this post and think I am looking down on you for not doing the things we are so eagerly planning for. Ben and I truly believe that God blesses each of us differently--we all have different gifts that God has a unique plan and purpose for. For us, it is foster care and opening our home to those who need it. We know that not everyone can do this, but we encourage you to figure out what the Lord IS calling you to do! Perhaps after reading this you feel God calling you to foster, and if so please message me if you have questions! Or perhaps you feel God calling you to do something else. I urge you to listen, because he will bless you for your obedience.  

I can move into my new house with a heart full of happiness knowing that we will use it for good, no matter how difficult that good might get. I can’t wait to get started packing. 

"Those who love their life in this world will lose it. Those who care nothing for their life in this world will keep it for eternity. Anyone who wants to be my disciple must follow me, because my servants must be where I am. And the father will honor anyone who serves me."
- John 12:26

Learning is Messy

I love learning. Making new discoveries. I got to help some of my students feel the thrill that follows after something finally clicks inside your brain, and I was honored to be a part of their learning. To those of you who know me best it might come as a shock to know that I helped them with their math homework. Math has never been a strong subject for me—many tears were shed during my k-12 years over confusing math homework. Helping kids make sense of something I have struggled with myself was even better! I was better able to sympathize with their frustrations and encourage them to keep trying, because the feeling of accomplishment that follows is always worth the hard work.

I’m experiencing something similar in my own life, completely unrelated to math. (Thank goodness I am done with that part of my life!)

To my women readers: correct me if I’m wrong, but does it seem like we are wired to compare ourselves to others? Growing up (and as adults!) we compare our bodies to others, we compare our academic performances, we compete against each other in sports, and there just seems to be an undercurrent of “I need to be the best. I need to be better than her.” Maybe it’s just me. I know I struggled with this issues as a teenager, but not to the extent that I am now. Now that I am married, getting to the end of my college career, and have my own place, the desire to “be the best” seems to have tripled in my life. I find jealousy welling up in me because of the most ridiculous things—people getting engaged makes me want to go back in time to that exciting time of dreaming and planning. People posting their wedding photos makes me want to go back to my wedding day and experience that tremendous joy all over again. Even things like scrolling through Pinterest and seeing all the cute and clever things that people find can cause jealousy! (I was almost too ashamed to write that! How ridiculous!) I can be really hard on myself for these feelings, but these last few weeks have been such an encouragement to me.

I’ve been going to a Bible study at my church where we’ve been studying Jesus’s parables, and it has been so eye opening and wonderful. The leader shared a bit of her own struggles with comparison as she told me about the jealousy she feels when she visits other people’s houses and sees their decorations. She shared that she’s always thinking about “the next thing” she needs to make her house complete. The sad thing is, though, that “the next thing” is never the last thing. There’s always something else that fills in that spot, and we are constantly thinking about “the next thing” we need to satisfy ourselves. I could relate so completely, and I found encouragement that I’m not the only one with a “next thing” on my list!

Realizing this was all fine and dandy, but what to do with this revelation? I’m a “doer.” I don’t like to sit back and let life happen to me. If I feel like something’s not right in my life, I try my hardest to fix it. (That’s what being the middle child does to you…we are fixers!) But God stepped in and reveled something so spectacularly simple to me: You can’t fix yourself. Only I can do that.

It came to me after reading through two parables that I have read and reread many times. Just like my math homework, I didn’t quite get it until much later. It is just finally starting to click in my mind. Most of you are probably just as familiar with the parable of the four soils, but here is a refresher for you:

Mark 4: 1-9

“Once again Jesus began teaching by the lakeshore. A very large crows soon gathered around him, so he got into a boat. Then he sat in the boat while all the people remained on the shore. He taught them by telling stories in the form of parables, such as this one:

‘Listen! A farmer when out to plant some seed. As he scattered it across his field, some of the seed fell on a footpath, and the birds came and ate it up. Other seed fell on shallow soil with underlying rock. The seed sprouted quickly because the soil was shallow. But the plant soon wilted under the hot sun, and since it didn’t have deep roots, it died. Other seed fell among thorns that grew up and chocked out the tender plants so that they produced no grain. Still other seeds fell on fertile soil, and they sprouted, grew, and produced a crop that was thurty, sixty, and even a hundred times as much as had been planted.’”

In my arrogance I always thought that a person’s heart can only be one kind of soil forever, that you were just given what you got and I of course am the good fertile soil. I just recently learned that our heart responds to things in different ways. Sometimes what God teaches us lands on good soil, ready to be received and put down deep roots. But other times what God is telling us lands on the packed, hard soil—we are unwilling to let the seed grow and change. Sometimes we receive his word quickly, but the rock underneath prohibits growth—our worries and current struggles get in the way of growth. And other times unseen weeds choke out what God is trying to say to us. For some reason this was lost on me all the times I read this passage. Jennifer Kennedy Dean, the author of the Bible study, wrote this: “Even good soil has to be prepared. It has to be plowed. When the Lord is turning over the soil in your heart, don’t try to pat it back down and make it nice and even like it used to be. Let the Lord prepare the ground for the seed He wants to plant there. ‘Break up your unplowed ground.'  (Jeremiah 4:3). God has a promise for you.”

I realized that there is nothing I can do to “fix” myself. I can’t make myself stop comparing myself. But God can. And he is. He is plowing up the unwilling, selfish soil and preparing it for the seeds he has planned for me. The farmer, God, is doing all the work in my heart. I am just finally being willing, and recognizing that patting back the soil to seem put together isn’t going to help. While plowing looks messy and feels painful, the end result is always worth it.

Jennifer Kennedy Dean also touched on the life of a seed. John 12:24 says “I tell you the truth, unless a kernel of wheat is planted in the soil and dies, It remains alone. But it’s death will produce many new kernels—a plentiful harvest of new lives.” She explains it like this: “Where is the life in a seed? It’s in the seed’s embryo, which contains the blueprint for life. The husk, the tough outer layer that encases the seed, must be broken down so water and oxygen can reach the embryo, the life center. The outer layer must die so the life contained within the seed can emerge.”

Jesus isn’t sugar coating anything with these teachings! Following him means our hearts will be plowed. It means we have to die to ourselves to let his blueprint guide our life. And we are pretty powerless in this situation! Besides being open to his word and allowing him to do his work, we can’t do much to change ourselves.

I’m pretty thankful for a God who isn’t afraid to get his hands dirty. Who is willing to plow up the messes I get myself into and plant his Word, his blueprint for life, into my heart. 

Take a listen to this new song by Sidewalk Prophets. It has been by prayer for the last week.

Looking Ahead: 2014

January always bums me out a little. With Christmas over, the snow suddenly seems a little less magical, Christmas songs are getting a little annoying, and the cold is settling in for another four months. I’m ready for tulips and sunshine, but instead we are stuck with snow heavy clouds, icy streets, and bitter winds. It’s safe to say that I catch a bit of the winter blues in January!

I figure this is the perfect time to start looking ahead to all the good that 2014 has to offer. I’m not a big fan of New Year’s Resolutions, simply because I haven’t had much luck following through with them in the past. A few years ago I discovered something I like much better—it’s called “My One Word.”

The idea behind “My One Word” is to pick one word that centers on your character and creates a vision for your future. Instead of making a long list of resolutions that will most likely fall of the radar by February, you pick a word that helps you narrow down your focus and provide some clarity. You can learn more here: http://myoneword.org/

For 2014, I have chosen the word “Abide.”  It comes from the passage of scripture found in John 15:4, which says, “Abide in Me, and I in you. As the branch cannot bear fruit of itself, unless it abides in the vine, neither can you, unless you abide in me. I am the vine, you are the branches. He who abides in Me, and I in him, bears much fruit; for without Me you can do nothing. If anyone does not abide in Me, he is cast out as a branch and is withered; and they gather them and throw them into the fire, and they are burned.”

This passage was read at our wedding in June, and it’s how we prepared ourselves for marriage. We refer back to this passage often to remind ourselves that whatever plans we make for ourselves better include the Lord, with the goal of glorifying his name. Without Christ, all of our well-intended plans will be meaningless. So while this is a passage that will continue to guide and shape the rest of our life together, I have chosen it for 2014 to remind myself to make plans for the future that include the Lord. Here are some things I have planned for 2014:

1.     Cherish life’s daily joys. Big and small.

 

Every day is worth celebrating, simply because God has granted us another day to live out his love. It can be difficult to appreciate his little blessings in the business of life, so we now have a visual reminder to help us slow down and take not of what God is doing for us. At the end of 2014 we’ll go back through the notes we threw into this little jar and remember all that God did for us—all the good, bad, and in between.

2.     Learn. Reach out. Speak.

We have a lot to learn! 2013 was a year of learning, especially when it comes to our book business. We took some big risks, trusted that God would provide for us, and then took some big steps. We want to keep learning all we can about how to market my writing, all the while keeping in mind that things might continue to go slowly for a few more years. We are having fun, though, and are grateful that for now we are in control over my writing. I am not currently under a contract to write, which means we can take a break while we figure out how we want to move forward with my publishing adventure. You can read more about the fears and doubts I have struggled with recently on my author blog: http://sarawhitley.wordpress.com/

With this in mind, we are striving to reach out and speak in 2014. We are researching events to go to sell books, and I’m also working very hard to set up some speaking events. I am excited to speak to the Sioux Falls Kiwanis club in February, and I’m contacting quite a few teachers with the hopes that I can get into many classrooms in 2014. I’m hoping to get into more libraries, shops, and bookstores in the coming year. Keep checking out my Facebook fanpage for all of those details!

3.     Run.

Running has always been a passion of mine, but I pushed it to the backburner when the opportunity to write presented itself. A pretty nasty IT Band injury didn’t help either, and the fact that I had to drop out of the cross country and track program at USF to begin working. I wasn’t running on a scholarship and things were getting a bit tight in the money department, so I made the choice to take a break with the hopes that after my injury healed I could just run on my own. Life got busy, however, and I simply didn’t make the time to schedule running back into my life. I want to change that in 2014! With these snazzy pink shoes and an injury prevention program in place, I am looking forward to getting back on the trail. If all goes according to plan, I’ll be heading up to the Twin Cities in October for my first marathon.

January is looking a little brighter as I look forward to all the things that 2014 has to offer! As always, I appreciate all the prayers and encouraging words from you, my family and friends. I find so much joy knowing that because I belong to the body of Christ, I am never alone—no matter how dark and cold this journey can get, I have a warm and loving support system to help me through.

Happy New Year! 

2013 In Review

Ben and I are treating this normal life like one big, exciting adventure. While life changing moments may not take place every day, week, or month, the little moments add up to make the biggest memories, which we are treasuring up with the hopes that years down the road, after our yet to be family has grown and life has slowed down, we will be able to pull up and smile fondly at. (I hope nobody reads this and thinks we are about to be a family of three…not yet! J )

Here is a peek into 2013—a bigger year for us, one we will always hold near and dear to our hearts.

January

In January we welcomed our beautiful niece, Mariah Rose Harriman, into the world. We fell in love instantly, and every time we go down to Yankton Ben looks forward to one thing more than anything else—getting to hold the baby! She has brought so much joy into our lives, and we love watching her grow and change.

I also got the first printed copy of my first book—the promotional copy, as it is called in the publishing world.  I also gained control of my author website in January! A team at Tate Publishing put the site together and helped me get the hang of navigating it, then released full control over to me. Now I can upload photos, write blog posts, and make other changes to the site. Check it out here: http://sarawhitley.tateauthor.com/

February

I signed my contract for my second book in February! I was still in the beginning stages of learning how to market my first book, so this was a whirlwind time for me! Ben and I have learned so much since those first crazy months of book ordering and planning events. We are looking forward to all the events we will do in 2014.

February signaled the end of my days of a cashier. (Hopefully! I would take a second job in a heartbeat if we needed to, but I pray I don’t have to J) I started my wonderful new job at Lutheran Social Services in February! Back then I worked as an assistant teacher at an after-school and summer program, and I have since moved to a new program where I am the lead teacher of 16 of the squirreliest, funniest, most difficult group of kids I have ever had the privilege of working with. Some days I come home crying in frustration, other days I come home laughing and telling story after story of how wonderful my kids are. It’s the best job I’ve ever had, and I feel so blessed to have found it!

March

March was a busy, busy month of book promotion! On March 2^nd I had my first official “pre-release” book signing at the University of Sioux Falls. I forget that most of you don’t understand all the publishing jargon that I have gotten to learn over the year, so I will fill you in on what this means. The pre-release stage in publishing is similar to when a movie releases in a movie theater. The point is to build excitement and get people talking about the movie so that when it releases to the public, people actually want to buy it. During the pre-release stage, I am the only one who has copies of the book, which I order directly from Tate Publishing. I receive these books at a discounted price and sell them for full profit, a great way to earn back the money I invested into the project—I earn my full investment back when I sell 1000 copies in actual book stores and from online sites such as Amazon.com. The copies I purchase don’t count towards the 1000 copies I have to sell, but it is the quickest way to make money on this project! And it is also fun to put on these events. I LOVE talking to people, especially kids who have a passion for reading and writing. If I can inspire just a few people or turn even one soul to Jesus, I have accomplished my goal. Here is what we did in March:

March 2^nd—The first official pre-release party at USF

March 6^th—I got to speak to the Faith Baptist Youth Group and share the story of how God lead me to pursue this dream and how he calmed my nerves and provided for me during each day of doubt. A wonderful night!

March 16^th—Pre-release signing in historic downtown Yankton at Rexall Drug

I also attended my bridal shower and began writing my 3^rd story—I didn’t plan on expanding any more on Molly’s story but God had other plans in mind. I have been spending my Christmas break pounding that out, and I have a fourth story on the backburner that I had been working on before my present project. Third book is called (at least for right now!) “A New Day Dawning” (I hope you all have caught on to my “A” theme!) and the fourth is “The Year of Jubilee.” I am beyond excited for these two stories!

April

In April the trailer of “Another Ending” was released! See it here: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hgEyAV02zEU

USF also did a nice little news story for me. Check it out here: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0ZLP0rJX2hM

Ben and I hit up LOTS of garage sales in April to fill up our first place! We moved him in at the end of April, and our apartment quickly became a cozy little home thanks to all the furniture my parents sent with us! Ben’s favorite is a giant overstuffed chair that doesn’t fit through any doorways or hallways. He had a blast taking off our front door and then removing the feet of the chair in order to get it into the apartment. He loved it even more when it wouldn’t fit down the hallway to the bedroom and we had to rearrange the living room to fit it in J (Did you catch the sarcasm? That chair is a source of great frustration for him. But it is a great chair and will be following us to our next place.)

I got a Facebook fanpage in April! If you haven’t “liked” my page, please do so here! https://www.facebook.com/authorsarawhitley I try to keep most of my book news separate from my personal page, to not overwhelm people with book posts!

To finish off April I turned 20 and celebrated with a yummy sundae, then watched my little brother grow up right before my eyes as he walked down Grand March at his prom.

May

I kicked off May by going to a local elementary school and speaking about my book! I am now in the process of writing and sending letters to teachers offering to come speak in their classrooms. If you know of anyone who might be interested let me know!

May is kind of a blur to me because a lot of things happened, but nothing really big happened. I am grateful for that month though, because the coming months would really make up for that! I finished my sophomore year and ran around getting all the last minute wedding details figured out. I spent countless hours constructing these guys:

Also, I watched my sister Katie graduate from Dordt College and this awkward family photo was born:

I started working full time in May at the summer program—I worked from 6:30-2:30 Monday through Friday all summer long. It was a struggle to drag myself out of bed most mornings, and I was glad to go back to the normal 2-6 when school started up again in August. My first book was also officially released, which means that bookstores were able to order and stock the book, and I could now to book signings in bookstores.

Oh, I also suffered a panic attack the end of May and ended up in the hospital. No big deal.

June:

WE GOT MARRIED!

That tops anything else that happened in June. We honeymooned at a charming Bed&Breakfast in Jordan, Minnesota and hit up IKEA, Mall of America, and ValleyFair while in Minneapolis. Perhaps we will take a more exotic vacation before we start a family, but we are both pretty low-key people and those few days of relaxation and laughter in the warm Minnesota summer air were just what we needed after the previous fun-filled, stressful weeks.

I also got to see Barry Manilow in Sioux City with my mama! It was a blast—he may be in his 70s but he’s still got it and he knows how to put on a good show. I know you are all jealous 

July

In July we just had a good old time being silly together. Here are some of the things we did:

August

August was our first experience as a vendor at the Lifelight Music Festival. It was a hot, dusty, exhausting, extremely rewarding weekend!

September

I received the promotion copy of my second book “An Open Window” in September. It was amazing to hold two published works in my hand and marvel at how far God had taken us.

October

I did my first signing at an actual bookstore! It was so fun to set up at Crossroads Book & Music in Sioux Falls and meet with readers. I got to do an interview with Keloland too, to promote the event! If you missed it, catch the blurb here: http://www.keloland.com/newsdetail.cfm/20-year-old-author-publishes-first-book/?id=154408

We also did more silly, fun things, and celebrated 5 years of togetherness: 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UchwnyDobr0

November

November was pretty low-key for us. I learned so much from my students about thankfulness, and celebrated Thanksgiving with both sides of the family. My mom and I also went to see The Cake Boss at the Washington Pavilion!

December

The highlight of December so far has been picking up my sister at the airport, who had spent the last five months teaching overseas. I got the first hug J

It’s been a blur of Christmas gatherings, Christmas goodies, and hours of shopping and wrapping gifts. Ben and I are looking forward to going home and celebrating our Savior’s birth with both sides of the family—it’s so convenient that they live in the same town!

So much to be thankful for in the last year! We are looking forward to all the adventures to come in 2014! Thank you for walking this road with us.