Monday, March 26, 2012

Wedding Gowns and Bridal Shows

I think Ben and I are in a minority group, a group that is dwindling and dying no thanks to society’s lax views on purity and marriage. Earlier in January I went to David’s Bridal with my parents and a few bridesmaids to pick out my wedding dress. Tradition holds that the wedding dress is white to symbolize the bride’s purity. I’m not sure how many people actually think about that when picking out a gown…I didn’t really either…but it’s still a really cool tradition that I wish more people did think about. I’m signed up with this website called “The Knot,” and every few weeks they send out a newsletter, oftentimes with a list of wedding dos and don’ts. Last week’s letter came with a list of 12 Worst Pieces of Wedding Advice, and the first one was about the color of the dress. Someone said: “My grandmother told me that I must wear a white dress or else people will start thinking that I'm not a virgin. I'm a 30-year-old bride who has been living with my fiance for six years.[1] To this “The Knot” replied: “this "rule" is completely antiquated. In fact, there are probably quite a few engaged virgins out there who will choose to wear ivory (gasp!) on their wedding day. Wear whichever color you love that looks best with your skin tone. In fact, white works best on darker skin tones, and ivory shades flatter lighter skin.” So, not a huge deal, but it did make me kind of sad that the website thought the white dress rule, the rule concerning purity, is “antiquated;” old fashioned, in the past, obsolete. No one cares about that rule anymore. Wear whatever color makes your skin look best. No one’s really a virgin on their wedding day anymore anyway.

In March Ben and I went to a Bridal Show. Yup, we both went. And we both enjoyed it. There were actually quite a few couples that came…Bridal Shows aren’t just for the ladies! Anyway, right when we walked in we came to a table to get registered for the big cash prize. To register, we were given the choice to either fill out a “nice” questionnaire or a “naughty” questionnaire. Maybe Ben and I are just really naïve or maybe we just didn’t think the questions would be as naughty as they were…but we innocently said “we’ll do the naughty one.” After all, the naughty one gets your name put in three times, the nice one only gets your name put in once. I took one look at the first question though and changed my mind. I won’t go into details, but I was horrified. Ben valiantly tried to fill his out, but we couldn’t answer one question honestly on that sheet. We gave up and filled out the nice one, and we laughed and shook our heads as we left that table. The people running the Bridal Show pretty much assume that most couples are not virgins and they are probably living together. And that makes me sad. We got a call a few days later about something we won…that we aren’t actually sure is legit…but we had to go back to the hotel we won it at and meet with the company giving it away. There was one other couple receiving the prize too, and when the man asked us if we were living together, the other couple boldly and proudly said no. Ben and I smiled…it seems rare these days to meet other couples who hold the same values as we do. We wouldn’t have judged them if they said yes, but it was nice to meet them and see their values line up with ours.  

It’s frustrating to see Christian values stomped on, but after meeting that couple I was reassured that Ben and I are not alone. We live in a world that tells us married people don’t have as much fun, they are limited to a sexual experience with only one person…and what fun is that? There are even websites out there encouraging people to have affairs. They’ll help you meet other married people to have an affair with! Their motto is “Life is short…have an affair!” So sick. We want to live for today, have as much fun as possible. But if you do a little digging, you’ll find that married couples are happier and much better off than people who jump around from relationship to relationship, giving up themselves over and over again to different people. Here’s a good website to check out if you don’t believe me:  

It’s not my place to judge those who don’t hold the same beliefs as I do, and I am a firm believer in sexual healing. Just because you messed up doesn’t mean you can’t one day enjoy the benefits of a healthy, marriage relationship. Here’s one more link if you haven’t had enough:

So, take heart, members of the dwindling minority group. There are others out there who still hold fast to what the Bible teaches. And there is healing for those who may have fallen out of step.

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